Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!
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Comments (265)
KiddNYC1O 22
Please don't show the dog the video of the cat that was high on the news... That's when your dog will really say "FML".
loopsy_fml 14
You should tell your son to buy the sweater
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
167- I am twenty years old, unless you are a child or a very ignorant and immature middle aged adult it's my generation too, sweety. I still use proper grammar and punctuation. Unfortunately, "u" does not make the list unless I am speaking about the letter "u". As 153 stated, it can be psychologically addictive depending on your predisposition to addition. And yes, you can talk about something from a logical, unbiased, and scientific point of view even if you never personally experienced it yourself. Have you ever heard of the word "psychology" before? By what you are stating, every psychologist in history and current day is wrong because they didn't experience it. How do we know how to treat schizophrenia, dementia, clinical depression, anti-socialism, etc? Or is every mental and clinical illness a "lack of self control" in your eyes? You might want to look up the definition of addiction while you smoke your next bowl. It is a disease and it can be hereditary. Yes, I can talk about marijuana being psychologically addicting to those whom suffer from addiction because I have experienced it. It is hereditary from both sides of my family so I can speak from personal experience about that as well. No, marijuana itself is not bad and it is a very useful medication to those who need it for medical reasons. Doctors should monitor the use of it in their patients just as they do for prescription pain killers, but they don't. I also can attest to that. You are a hypocrite. "what irritates me is that you all have your opinion about it ad you refuse to listen to anyone else's; Further more, you're not even willing to consider that you may be wrong." Please tell me how you are an exception to this. You did not avoid hypocrisy you are the exact definition of it. And to answer your last question yes, you are in fact wrong. Again, you are only speaking from your experiences with marijuana, so how can you speak on behalf of those whom do become psychologically addicted to it? You never experienced that so how can you speak on it and say it is due to "lack of self control"? You obviously don't know what it is that causes the addiction so how would you know that it was in fact "lack of self control" unless you had personally lost your self control? You're just another stoned teenager trying to take on the while you light a joint, venturing on FML, and talking about the world like you have some wise understanding of it because you have experienced it all. I may be twenty years old but I know when to hold my tongue when I know I might not fully understand what it is that I am about to speak of. Grow up and learn how to be respectable adult. You have a long way to go.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
"world" was supposed to be in front of "while"
doobs454 0
Aghh c'mon let him smoke weed at least
leadman1989 16
The dog is less pissed about this than when he got his balls cut off. >:0
TokinUp 6
Drugs ain't bad. I've been using them forever and I have all A's and B's. There mire like brain boosters!!!
AmazingLadyy13 0
Hopefully by drugs it was only marijuana. :/
Michael_Kelso 0
I wonder what drugs they were. I wouldn't think it was pot because no stoner is active enough to shave anything. It couldn't be ecstacy because someone thizzing would be more interested in petting the dog. I wouldn't say acid as it would just make you laugh at the thought and existence of a dog. If it were shrooms the kid would have been walking around outside laughing and being awed by nature. Coke and the he would just feel up for 15 minutes, but never have the idea to shave anything. I doubt he'd be doing any bad ones like meth. My only conclusion is that op's son doesn't need help for drugs, he is just an idiot who would have likely ended up shaving the dog anyway.
blackheart24 10
We should start a new blogging website: Things I Shaved When I Was High.com