Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!
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Comments (265)
soccerrchicaa5 0
hahaha and you need a new razor(;
traviemojo 0
It's not a big deal I smoke weed
SouthernKiller 4
Maybe it's not the drugs. Maybe your son is stupid.
2wenty0ne21 0
Alright idiots I'm going to say this one time, weed is a drug. A drug can be defined as a medical substance, hence marijuana. If we had never used marijuana for recreational purposes pharmaceutical companies would be selling it to u. Also saying this ONE time it's NOT addicting, bottom line idiots. If u have not tried marijuana please I urge u to close ur mouth, u have no experience to base ur assumptions about it, period.
RedPillSucks 33
The first half of your comment I completely agree with. The second half I dont. You can have a discussion about stuff that you're affected by without directly experiencing it. I can discuss whether it's bad to get hit by a train without having been hit by one. I can discuss the effects of weed without having tried it (yes, I have) because I can see its effects on other people or how other peoples addiction affects those around them. Also, weed can most definitely be addicting. It can be psychologically addicting. You're thinking of physical/chemical addiction.
MecAdrian 0
A friend with weed, is a friend indeed.
MoutainDrewski 0
well maybe he was planning on shaving the dog in the first place and decided to do it high, and he didn't do a very good job of it, even a non-high stupid kid could **** up shaving the dog
Lauinater 4
Hope it's just weed..
donetsk1991 1
The best FML moment I've ever read! So sad yet so funny!
jessyelly90 2
Assuming it is weed we're talking about, if you put him in rehab, he'll hate you forever, and once he's out he might do harder drugs just to puss you off. Tell him to stop being an idiot. If he does it again take away his right to good food, only make him super gross foods.