Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
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Top comments
redhedsaysrawr 18
Troll mom is winning
Harpy20 24
Twat swat level: EXPERT.
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Comments (138)
DarkHelmet 10
Mom with the grade A **** block
ElricMustang 23
AA grade
mod3rator 2
31 in you pic, the hand looks like a penis cumming out of a dudes face...
Gremlinswife 13
I must admit depending on the age of OP of course, this was a brilliant move on moms behalf.
LupeTabasco 5
I doubt she's in her 20's seeing as she has a baby brother. So probably mid-late teens.
wysegirl 24
My sister was born when I was 25 but not my mom's kid she belongs to my step-mother. also depends on how young the mom had her too..
amerikaninfidel 2
Awesome Mom is Awesome
superrocket19 17
That's just her way of introducing your family. Be happy she didn't get angry about it OP
Alihb 16
that's a cat not a puppy......
Charleybelle 14
I can't think of a way out of that one..your moms winning
howdeedoo 22
How was OP supposed to know that her mom was going to say anything?
interesting33 37
I would be so angry
yscpunkchick 14
I haven't read an FML in a while that actually made me laugh! That sounds like some shit my own Mother would pull!
btstig 11
I got something your mom can pull !
mikelust1977 7
What a twat
TheDrifter 24
He should have still passed on his number, score some points with mommy dearest for his acceptance of your (imaginary) flaws.