Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
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Top comments
redhedsaysrawr 18
Troll mom is winning
Harpy20 24
Twat swat level: EXPERT.
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Comments (138)
80skid 15
Well if that isn't boy repellant, I don't know what is.
dead247 13
pepper spray.
kaoszombie 6
Herpes is usually a deal breaker.
Fmlsea 28
if your young then I could understand why your mum would do that , but that would also suck .
Dcm210 19
Go lesbian.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Maybe you convince your mother you are running away to join a satanic lesbian polyamorous coven. She might stop going out of her way to scare boys away from you.
mykelinva 4
I hope you took notes cause you got schooled by a professional!
simoncat 11
If you're a girl- can we still call this a **** block?
chris_a7x 11
Your mother is epic
lrv96 6
How do you kik?
denden_mushi 11
Trolling is just your mom's way of saying I love you.
iamshaffu 9
That's one crafty mom.
newburton13 26
That...was clever. Horrible, but clever.