Love, Kids, Pranks Parents Protective

Protective

Anonymous - 26/12/2012 18:30 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

sierraisfucked - 02/06/2009 07:55 - United States

Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML

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MC - 15/08/2011 02:51 - Canada

Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML

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What the…?

Anonymous - 05/02/2024 05:00

Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML

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Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

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blah - 21/07/2011 14:10 - United States

Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML

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Denial

Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

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Anonymous - 18/09/2010 14:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML

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geeb - 23/02/2010 18:33 - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

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KayKay - 23/09/2016 06:33 - United States - Ware

Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML

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Anonymous - 23/11/2016 16:58

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

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redhedsaysrawr 18

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Troll mom is winning

Harpy20 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 0:10

Twat swat level: EXPERT.

rivaraven 35

Thursday 27 December 2012 3:29

Love your mom. And I don't say that a lot about women. Or any woman in that matter.

Malicteal 21

Thursday 27 December 2012 3:34

Now that's hilarious. If I could I'd give your mom a high five.

Gummybearjunkie 3

Thursday 27 December 2012 3:47

That is HILARIOUS.

destroyu 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:16

Ur mom rocks

Domino3k 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:20

Daaaaaamn smh and the twat block of the year award goes to: ........ YOUR MOM!!!!!!

classicpooh4056 6

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:23

Way to go mom. She's got the Anonymous part down.

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:46

Your mom cockblocked you. Sounds to me like she's jealous that you had a nice man approach you. Mom+1 You-0 Moms winning

hillorie 14

Thursday 27 December 2012 4:48

Your mom is a badass. I'm jealous.

Lenho 26

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:13

Pretty smart of your mom

kmv3 9

Thursday 27 December 2012 5:31

LMAO.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML

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Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML

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Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with our crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again. FML

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Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

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Today, my ex-boyfriend not only gave me syphilis, he published a video on all social media accusing ME to have given it to him, without ANY proof, and everyone believed him. Not only did he destroy my "social" life online, but he gained a lot of followers by doing so. FML

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Today, it's been 10 months of a sexless marriage. Also my 10-month wedding anniversary. We waited until marriage, and she hasn't wanted me since. FML

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