Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I was learning how to start having lucid dreams. She was convinced the only reason I could possibly want to have them was so I could cheat on her in my own dreams. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, the girl of my dreams that I've been dating for months called me. Apparently she's been having recurring nightmares of me cheating on her. She dumped me "just in case." FML
Shame on you!
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I didn't fight some guy that started hitting her right in front of me... In a dream. She was totally serious. FML
Baby daddy
Today, my girlfriend of a year broke up with me because I got her pregnant and didn't own up to it. I wouldn't have blamed her if it didn't actually happen in her dream. FML
Do you remember?
Today, I woke up from an amazing dream I was having about my girlfriend. We were laughing and holding hands, the kind of dream I wanted to stay asleep for. When I finally got up, I was excited to tell her about the dream but then I remembered. We broke up a week ago. FML
Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML
Self-fulfilling prophecy
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
Buckle up
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for a familiar reason; I apparently have night terrors that make me "Impossible to sleep in the same room with." I don't ever remember these dreams. Every other girlfriend I've had has ended up breaking things off with me for the same reason. FML
On the sauce
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML
Top comments
razoray9 22
Well, does it work? How do you have lucid dreams?
YaBoiSeabass 15
Well now you can have three ways with Alexis Texas and Mia Khalifa
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Comments (50)
_EnderDoge 22
Probably for the better if this is true.
razoray9 22
Well, does it work? How do you have lucid dreams?
DianeLaLune 11
Some people do a meditation or hypnosis session to induce a lucid dream. Other times it just happens spontaneously. You can learn to do reality checks in order to realize when you're dreaming vs when you're awake.
chrisbeaudoin 26
A popular way is to draw a circle in the palm of one of your hands (or elsewhere you can see easily) and if you are not sure if you are in a dream check if the circle is there.
ABlindMan 17
There's all kinds of ways. I've managed to do it a few times by essentially chanting "I'm dreaming" as I fall asleep so when I start dreaming I reminded myself that I was dreaming. Although I've not had dreams that I remember any part of in a long time so I've been unable to.
gracehi 33
I've had a few lucid dreams although I've never induced one deliberately. I always fly when it happens.
MariaGiovanni 25
I had bad recurring nightmares when I was little and my dad told ne to think of him and my mom beating up the bad guy or monster or whatever. So when Id get too scared Id think of my parents then I realized I was capable of conscious thought during dreams and could change them. So I've been able to lucid dream since I was 8. I also have sleep paralysis if I wake up in the middle of the night but because I lucid dream I can make it so it isnt scary until Im able to fully wake up. Minds are so interesting.
Chris_Knope 4
the hard part isn't realizing that you're dreaming. that's the easy part. look at clocks or your hands. while dreaming, the brain has a hard time with numbers (the clock will show something weird like 62:40 or your hands will have a wrong amount of fingers.) The hard part is not waking yourself up after you realize you're dreaming. learn to control you're heart rate and lucid dreaming becomes more easy.
JackFaire 27
Yes and no. What I do is that I will "program my dream" I lay down to go to sleep but intentionally start day dreaming building what I want to dream about. Usually in this state I get to dream what I want but I also know I am dreaming. Other times I just randomly realize I am dreaming but stay asleep. I have been doing this for so many years that while usually people only remember there dreams for a little after waking up I can recall mine weeks and months later.
YaBoiSeabass 15
Well now you can have three ways with Alexis Texas and Mia Khalifa
Kakapo4Ever 11
Once you learn, **** some smoking hot girl in front of her. It won't be real but it will still be sweet
askullnamedbilly 33
Good riddance. If she's THAT insecure, she's shouldn't be in a relationship.
tounces7 28
Well you now have one less boatload of stupid in your life.
chosha_fml 27
And of course the comments are basically agreeing with her, even though there are so many other amazing things you could lucid dream, like flying, or being around wild animals, or telling a shit boss to go **** himself. Hopefully your girlfriend will come to her senses, OP.
gracehi 33
Not a single person has a agreed with her.
Casual_Cthulhu 12
Being around wild animals? Go outside. It's far easier than lucid dreaming plus you get the bonus of it actually being real.
chosha_fml 27
I meant they were all agreeing in the sense that the only thing they think he'll do is choose to have sex dreams about other women. It's all they mentioned.
chosha_fml 27
Really? Tigers outside on your lawn are they? WILD animals. You know, the ones you can't just go be around in real life because they'll kill you?
crudeandrudeguy 29
God damn right that's what I'd use it for but I'm a perverted bastard... I've been married long enough for my virginity to grow back. Lol
Urpoppy 21
Best to get rid of such an idiot.
Lalala579121 28
OP wasn't the one doing the getting rid of.
TabooSushi 24
Well good riddance to her. You don't need that kind of crazy in your life.