Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
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Top comments
redhedsaysrawr 18
Troll mom is winning
Harpy20 24
Twat swat level: EXPERT.
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Comments (138)
carminecris89 13
Your mom is a bitch, though her **** blocking skills sound impressive.
Sly_Assassin 11
Your mom is a huge cockblock
Axel5238 29
Can't find this funny. Trying to help your kid out is one thing, but saying AA is overkill. Trolling for the most part isn't actually funny it's a younger generations way of being a dick while failing at actual humor and justifying horrible behavior. The same generation that started meme's and being a dick under the guise of humor (trolling) are the same ones who generally contribute to mass idiocy on this web site an texts from last night.
lilithfury 23
I wish I could give you more thumbs up, to counter the asshats that are offended by the fact this undoubtably describes them.
fmluser1292 4
Haha! Did you still get his number?
QueenSaru 28
If you're under eighteen, I can see why your mom would do such a thing (even if it was a bit overboard in my opinion), but if you're of legal age, then she's just being an asshat. I know people will say, "Well she's just trying to protect her," and "She has better instincts!" but you can't bubblewrap kids. They need to learn those instincts and they need to make mistakes in order to grow and become better at spotting warning signs and red flags. Also, publicly humiliating your kid for no reason isn't the best way to endear them to you...
angelswings07 3
I understand the level of embarrassment, but it was genius on your mothers behalf
SweetLuna 10
Her mom was just being a mother and protecting her daughter, yeah too bad she missed out on the guy, but you never know what that guys intentions.
shaagy2760 13
I think it's safe to say she doesn't approve of this guy
nishantvas 13
you posted this on FML so I am guessing the guy was cute !! :D
MoreBeef 4
That did suck but I love your mom!