Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened my new contact lenses for the first time in a month and accidentally dropped one, only to watch it disappear helplessly down the drain. Give a name to the situation. FML
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and thirsty, I found a glass of water next to the sink, filled it up with more water, chugged it and went back to bed. I woke up an hour later to my best friend telling me she thought she lost her contacts. They were in a glass next to the sink. I ate her contacts. FML
Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML
Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML
Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
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Top comments
urdirtyolduncle 15
I guess you didn't see that coming!
ScaryyMary 14
Scuttled? You scuttled? What are you, a crab?
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Comments (116)
urdirtyolduncle 15
I guess you didn't see that coming!
denbeste 3
^
djcoco5 0
ahahaha! good one!
palltaru 0
punny...
Keyman1212 14
Especially when getting a facial. She's lucky the guy didn't just ejaculate into her eyes, at least they had the common courtesy to not do that.
kill_teh_bieber 0
I c what u did thar
rallets 23
howd you know it was a guy? and who scuttles? what are you, a crab?
jazziness 12
OMG I GET IT!!!!!!!!!
cadillacstyle03 2
Maybe not your facial. But she would certainly know mine has arrived hahaha.
angel55033 12
haha zing!
dre_bro11 12
#1, I don't know if you intended it but nice pun :). And OP, check to make sure you didn't over pay them by giving them a wrong note or coins.
breena25 0
haha, the word " scuttled "
kiaralove53 0
This happened to me but instead it was a retainer. It was a school bbq in third grade, but guess who had to go through the million bags of garbage...?
Ketchup_Castle 30
Wow. Nice pun.
Calyx_fml 22
You may not see well but you look good.
xMaNNiNGx119 0
pun intended
breena25 0
hahaha, " SCUTTLED "
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
i know how u feel. i was half blind for a whole weekend w/o my contacts. it sux
BWill9014 4
You should have made sure everyone in the area knew that your contacts were in those cups...
DenisV95 2
Not everyone likes yell out "HEY MY CONTACTS ARE IN HERE!"
mmmskittles 3
you're a fool. who says you have to be obnoxious about it? theres nothing wrong with letting people know not to throw the cup out.
lizzieislovely 11
Agreed. It's complete sense to say to someone "oh, by the way, that cup there has my contacts in it." People aren't mind readers...
catatonicsleep 17
If she took them out they probably put something on her eyes so maybe she didn't see it get taken away so couldn't have said. When her facial was done she asked where the cup was the the beautician said she threw it out. She assumed they knew but didn't see it happen so couldn't have said 'hey don't take that'.
BWill9014 4
I understand her eyes may have been covered but I'm saying that as soon as she took her contacts out she should of told everyone around that her contacts were in them...
gamercanadian 11
I know eh lol don't u guys get it this guy ^ I'd talking from experience.
ScaryyMary 14
Scuttled? You scuttled? What are you, a crab?
SulfurPlague 0
hahaha
Superduck132 3
She's Dr. Zoidberg's sister.
iburppeopleup 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that is why you always carry glasses with you dumbass. i have no ******* sympathy for you maybe you'll learn your lesson
bhangu023 0
wow calm down, a person doesn't always carry glasses if their already wearing contacts. that's almost like saying when you go drive somewhere you should take a 2nd car with you incase u lose your original. it's just unlikely to occur
iburppeopleup 0
if you wore contacts, you would know how easily something can happen to them. besides if she is so blind she scuttled home, then it just makes sense to carry glasses if your vision is that bad. I have no sympathy for people who don't think.
iNekoGamergurl 0
Wow. You are a total douche. Even if OP did have glasses, theres really no reason to bring them with her everywhere she goes- It's not like she KNEW someone was going to throw them away.
iburppeopleup 0
like I said, if she is that blind she should be smart enough to bring them with her. anyone who wears contacts know how unreliable they are. they are easy to lose and my eye doctor me it is recommended to keep glasses with you just in case. besides, the OP probably has a purse and glasses don't take up that much room.
rockyraccoon28 8
iburppeopleup, I wear contacts and there really isn't a reason to bring glasses around with you unless you are very irresponsible and can't keep contacts in for an entire day without losing them, or if you are going somewhere that you know you're going to take them out. OP already said that they forgot to bring their contact case, so it was just an honest mistake.
sh33na_is_a_punk 0
I hav personal experience with contacts and glasses because iv been wearing glasses since first grade, and contacts since fifth. so I know that nobody wants to deal with bringing glasses with them wherever they go it's just to mush of a hassle. so get off op case unless you're their mom. nobody expects this to happen so just shit your trap and grow up
iburppeopleup 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
both of you are so ******* stupid. it is NOT hard to carry a pair of glasses inside your purse, so don't act like it's a big ******* hassle. **** off, this fml proved my point of carrying glasses. the whole fml could have been avoided if she did.
love_me_electric 20
I always bring my glasses and a my contact lense case with me when I go somewhere wearing my contacts, it's common sense. What if something gets in your eyes and you have to take them out all of a sudden? Or maybe your eyes just get sore for some reason and you want to take them out for a bit? It's really not that difficult to bring that stuff with you and it can save you a lot of trouble.
tymarie2012 31
iburppeopleup have you ever thought that maybe she doesnt have glasses anymore? it's a long shot but maybe she doesn't like glasses so she chooses to wear contacts all the time. when my mom had contacts I know she never carried glasses around with her. Oh and it is a hassle to carry them in your purse cause there's a chance that they could get broken.
gingerrrr88 11
It's a pain in the ass to use that stuff in the morning and then put it in your purse and take it out again at night. Plus I always lose my purse and if I lost my glasses I would be ****** because I'm blind as a bat without them. And glasses are pretty expensive so why risk it?
0opsie 6
Keep a spare case and extra pair of contacts or glasses in your purse from now on. :)
zowieandzander77 1
wow OP looks like you just discovered the thesaurus on your computer... she threw away your "vision aid" and then you "scuttled home" YDI you don't need to take out your " vision aids" to get a facial.
jemm94 0
hahahahaha
iwadasn 33
You know, there are actually people who can use multisyllable words without needing a thesaurus.
Troll1 0
u r apparently one of them
spanelli 16
74- Is that a Columbian Boa?
spanelli 16
Epic typo! I meant 17. How the **** did I get 74...?
mattitucklove01 0
So sorry! you should have told her before you did something like that ! People can't read minds.
cameront777 0
I'll give you a FREE facial to cheer u up
palltaru 0
ur fat
Person1233 13
ur ginger So this is what it feels like to beat the English language with a stick.