Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
Today, my brother called me up. He said he needed to talk to me. Whenever someone says that, I naturally I get nervous. He said, "I gave one of my friends your number." I was shocked and asked why. "Your life makes me sad." FML
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redhedsaysrawr 18
Troll mom is winning
Harpy20 24
Twat swat level: EXPERT.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (138)
holagranola 15
OP's Mom: 1, OP: 0.
polobeastjkc 5
Hahah your moms AWSOME
Jimmothy68 5
Unlike your spelling...
Lil_Saly_Danzr 10
I feel like my mom (or me once I have kids) would do that... Wow your mom seems cool, but not at that moment
zenrael 21
And this is my overly protective mother **** blocker. She isn't good with jokes. Here's my number. Would have worked.
vbmg152 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would she do that?
ted1029 4
Because its funny? Lol
mikeymayhem_87 15
Twat swatted AND **** blocked at the same time?! Your mother trolled you big time!!
dead247 13
I find twat swatting more or a sexual term.
WrongRomance 11
What a clever mother!
Scarshadow101 6
That's a...different way of mothering. Awesome? Yes. Effective? Very.
TopBanana20 11
You mean untrue?
luvmaboo 7
Burn on your mum if you got the number either way!