Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
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Comments (133)
Poglia 15
Dude, I'm a nurse and I must tell you: you are constipated. Eat more vegetables and fruits, drink more water and do some physical exercise. I take no more than 30 seconds to take a shit.
ArashiGirl 13
Thirty seconds to take a dump? THAT is bullshit.
skittyskatbrat 19
Only if "you are constipated" is the name of an app or game....
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I'm a normal person wondering who times their bodily functions outside of when needed for medical purposes.
juturnaamo 29
You don't have a natural sense of time?
Arwen_Evenstar 37
No, not really.
Opheliae 22
Umm, that is too long to take a shit. You should eat healthier and drink more water, bruh...
thesnowleopard 3
Tighten your butt cheeks next time.
sherry123 5
one does not shit in job
worldclassrager 41
Appeal that...that's not legal...
Respect101 17
Not sure about other countries, but in the US it is legal to fire someone for little or no reason. They basically can fire anyone under most reasons as long as the reason doesn't violate the Anti-discrimination laws.
TheHarvardian 25
That exact same thing has happened to me before. Apparently as a team, we were taking to many "unauthorized" bathroom breaks and if we didn't use the bathroom only on our scheduled breaks, or take less than 3 minutes, we were screwed.
bravesgirl55 11
That's a bunch of shit! Holding it because you can't go fast enough could really cause a lot of health problems. I've had kidney infections and they suck!
Arwen_Evenstar 37
Hmm, yet most schools won't allow you to go in lessons, we had 2 hour blocks so even going quickly in between could make you late for the second. Plus honestly, I've never had a doctor, nurse, counsellor etc suddenly go, nor a teacher (be a couple of minutes late, yes). I doubt many lawyers would. And really for shop work, people often have to wait for a coworker to cover. Like it or no, it's a life skill, and most people shouldn't have trouble waiting. Obviously people with bladder issues, pregnancy etc may have more urgency. But that's likely a small % of the population.
donutcallmethat 16
I think you should consult a lawyer, because this is discrimination against people who have health issues, and frankly, your bowels are your private business. It should be pretty easy to get a doctor to weigh in on it.
imagineapc 11
Are you kidding? You're aware that most states are at will employment states? That means I can fire you simply if I don't like the color of your hair. Additionally, people with bowel problems are not a protected class under the ADA...making your argument completely invalid.
doodlecloud 27
That's if OP is actually trying to tackle it. In which case they should easily be able to explain it. However, judging by the wording, OP is not too concerned and just thinks it's natural...
BeeHMC 9
That's because 10 minutes is too long... However I don't think you should have been fired assuming it was your first time doing it.
devyn64 3
hey
Mauskau 36
I'd be screwed, I'm not allowed to use my phone at my desk anymore even if it's work or family related. I have to do that all at lunch or when I go to the toilet. But if they told me off, they'd have to tell off everyone that goes for half an hour smoke breaks every hour or so.
kingdomgirl94 29
Staying off your phone for a few hours isn't really a hardship. Unless someone is dying and you need to be kept posted on their condition every hour, put it the hell away. You're paid to work, not text. Work related things might be excusable, but family related? Like I said, unless someone is in critical condition, text them on break, it won't kill you.
drmisin 5
where do you work? I would love 1/2 hour smoke breaks every hour. I just get 3 5 minute breaks in 7 hours of work.