Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
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Comments (133)
1nertia 15
Shit's rough...
Zach2014 11
Best shit ever?
toyhenoctus 16
That's a really long time in my book. I don't think it's fair that you were fired over it but that is a long time just to poo
diosadelmasaje 8
sounds like there is a communication issue. your manager should have approached you if there was a concern. if they assumed you were on the phone playing ect, leaving it outside the restroom while you did your business should have been proof you needed the time. sorry OP and good luck on the job hunt.
jude_iscariot 7
That sucks. I've been fired for going to the bathroom too often. Apparently having to pee once every other hour is too often, even though my doctor said it was healthy and it meant I was well hydrated.
kingdomgirl94 29
The thing is, most people get a break every two hours. So if you went on your breaks, this wouldn't be an issue. It was more likely an issue that you'd go right after getting back from a break.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
UK standard is every 4 hours. Actually, I think it's 30 minutes for every 8 you work, which is a standard shift.
middlenamefrank 8
That does seem like a pretty long time, at least it is for me. You were hiding out in the bathroom and got busted, didn't you?
Axel5238 29
At my last job before I left before I went back to school they noticed I was in the bathroom a fair amount(worked in a hospital as part of maintenance). I drank coffee on break and that does go through me and being the lighting guying I also had to check the stairwells lights. That was 40 flights of stairs a week so I drank a lot of water to keep hydrated. Naturally, I kept having to pee. They understood, but some people use the bathroom as a break time or would just head into a bathroom/locker room to kill time. So if it was happening regularly yeah they are gonna notice.
slipstreak 10
Now you know not to go to Taco Bell before work.
lylecrocodile110 2
I do this at work all the time...probably should stop...smh
zapped3 8
People who say 10 min is too long have obviously never had hemorrhoids or a fissure. Keep pushing.. You'll see.