Tey
United States
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Chloe
United Kingdom
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Pouya
United States
Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML
Schuyler Davis
You're fired!
Today, my employer fired me, less than a week before I could become permanent full-time staff. FML
anonymous
Germany
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
jobless
San Francisco, United States
Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML
Anonymous
Maple Ridge, Canada
Unreliable
Today, after moving provinces and working my ass off to find a job, and finally finding one, I got the flu and had to call in sick two days on my first week. They fired me today. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was enjoying my first vacation day in 2 years. My boss then called me to come in, saying it was an emergency. I got to work and got fired. Yes, my boss made me come in just to fire me. FML
fml
United States
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
Volunteer
Elwood, United States
Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML
Top comments
ariannaimelda 7
Dang, what did you do? Flash your ass on the TV screens via a video camera? Or was that me? Hm...
desireev 18
That is just terrible OP! Keep trying and you'll find a good, long-lasting job that you will love! Just remember.. Good things come to those who wait.. Merry Christmas! :)
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Comments (161)
misfitmonroe 4
Bummer
MsSoulReaper 27
What did OP do to get fired so quickly?
hellbilly205 17
Well that blows
HahaHokayThen 10
Classic case of overexcitement once you find out you can photocopy your butt.
Argumental_Rhino 8
Get a better job or work harder.
emvictoria 9
That's horrible :( what did you do!?
ScaughtieHolden 11
Maybe this is a YDI, there's not enough information, but you'd have to do something pretty severe to get fired in less than an hour.
KeyboardWarrior 10
No way. Really?
cranky_pants 8
Being fired that soon into a new job happens surprisingly often, and it's not always the case of someone doing something completely egregious. I've heard of many instances, and I've had to do it myself three times, two of which were clear (IMHO) YDIs, although one was debatable: The first was because it was discovered that the person had lied on his resume. (Inflated job title and responsibilities at a previous job, and a fabricated job to cover a period of unemployment. Discovered by the HR rep who signed him in, as she and him ended up having a shared work history. The world is smaller than most people think.) He lasted about one hour. Another time it happened because the person was a disrespectful pain in the ass, and I have a low tolerance for high-maintenance wankers. Seriously, this guy was totally sweet in the interview process, but unbelievable once he was in the office. He lasted until 3pm, and the team applauded when he was escorted out by security. The third was a tougher call, and one of those dodgy situations that I hate, having to reconcile human decency with the long-term good of the team: after the person had accepted my job offer, I received a resume from a rock-star candidate with an internal referral. I could only afford one of them, so when the person on his first day showed that he wasn't as strong as we had hoped, I let him go at the end of the day (with one month's severance), in order to land the rock star. And these incidents are pretty mundane. If you want a bottomless supply of crazy-weird workplace stories, befriend your local HR rep. They live in the nexus of office weirdness.
misfitmonroe 4
Very informative ;)
doughertyz 1
TLDR
kyarush 10
Sitting on the copy machine naked doesn't fly these days.
farhil 14
Unless I'm your boss. You have to send a few copies my way though.
thatssomeBS 9
I once got fired upon showing up for my second day. OP wins this battle.
mlw63 0
That sucks bro.
ariannaimelda 7
Dang, what did you do? Flash your ass on the TV screens via a video camera? Or was that me? Hm...
chili_is_good 0
Did you get fired because you asked what 2's profile pic says?
kidtoronto 5
U probably did something to deserve it. YDI
OfficeNinja 5
OP: hello Mr. DumbAss! It's such a pleasure to work for DumbAss and DumbAss Associates! I'm sure I'll fit I'm great with the DumbAss family!! New boss: the name is DUMAS. OP: I'll pack my things up now...
Lucidium 0
Oh wow 58 so creative
bluntbeak 6
What you may have done implies that there will, in fact, be buttsecs.
Namerkp2 8
Congratulations on your new job mr.- HOLY SHIT STOP ******* THE PRINTER!... you're fired.
cmac86 24
Your profile pic made me laugh.
Horcruxer 0
And u have 0/9 fmls posted hahaha
Nolnah 14
huzzah! wait what?
desireev 18
That is just terrible OP! Keep trying and you'll find a good, long-lasting job that you will love! Just remember.. Good things come to those who wait.. Merry Christmas! :)
thantomaniac 0
But mostly just the lucky and the wealthy.
clcbjj31 0
....and the smart and hardworking.
chenry1 4
No shes right. You gotta go to college most of the time but there's still enough places that hire without it and turn it into a career that you'll like.
MaaaanWTF 1
This has to be the best comment you have ever posted! Congrats and Merry Christmas!
raydaly 5
this coment is crap in this world noone cares for you you can't get a job afterall who wants a 17 year old working for ya but one day you will hate yourself so much and everything around you you will loose the will to live .. I'm one of the lucky ones who managed to live but however bad things get NEVER try to kill yourself it's a dumb way out all you can do is find something to hold on to till this world (god forbid) gets any better but never try to shugar coat it thes world is crap I just wat ppl to know what the real world is like
flipfloperson 5
55 - Try some punctuation next time?
raydaly 5
try go fu(k yourself
TuckinFypos 2
60, no, we did not mean to place a bracket in the middle of a word.
diidiimi 10
Hey moderators - we've got a potential spammer here!!
piekie8888 1
That is one chearfull comment:)
desireev 18
Thanks guys!! Merry Christmas to all of you as well! ;)
mrschultzy 0
Aww aren't you Just the cutest. Merry Christmas!
ceejpie 0
Nice. Howitzer.
GSP101 0
Either that is the most strict job. Ever. Or you suck. Or the boss sucks.
Kingdutch 3
Or he didn't suck the boss? Meh..
Hulabaloola 0
You one of those people who start a sentence with "either...." and end it with a thousand possibilities?
Ozone1232 5
Where does everyone get these funny comments from?!? Gah!
elbia21 5
What did u do?! Getting your ass printed on a copy machine is not going to benefit u >.< . . .I actually want to make this a goal now.
TheDog6 24
Would you like a hug? They're free!
clcbjj31 0
Something tells me you drive a rape-van.
OnlyAvailableID 28
Also known as the MolestationMobile.
Ozone1232 5
Hmmm. Sounds legit.
Marksman46 5
baaaaah... i see the pun there... free... cuz he doesnt have a job....
teentee401 37
That wasn't a pun
Samuel5463 12
Or was it
Larion1 13
you probably deserved it pity yourself
MelTheGreat 23
Slept with the boss that fast? geeze.
ohmandapants 17
Why would they get fired for that?
HolyHandGrenade 4
Well, OP, since you got fired, just remember anyone can be a prostitute... As long as you remember to cup the balls. That's the golden rule to prostitution.