Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
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Comments (133)
1Dfangirl 21
I take ***** in like 3 minutes :|
TequilaSam 6
Had a roommate that used to come home on his lunch break to take his daily 20 minute shit. Bathroom was unusable for at least an hour after. My only question is wtf are you people eating?!
PassiveAggresive 12
Pretty sure that's illegal.
dabears1011234 27
"Must be able to crap in 2 minutes or less"
fader48080 10
Yeah that is a bit long. but not grossly so.
OhNoAGhost 18
If your restroom breaks are being timed to that extent, it's probably time for a career change, anyway.
mosquito19 14
it's not unless you got caught with newspaper.
sleepyglowstar 32
It takes me like 2 minutes to do that at work
casste 6
That is a pretty long time to be in the bathroom. You should have waited until your break. I'm sure if you desperately needed to shit, you would have been less than 10 minutes.
NemusKiller 5
In bootcamp I had 5 minutes to shit & bath... So get yourself together OP
thejimler 9
You shouldn't shit in your bathwater, that's just unhygienic.