Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
cerk 7
I'm reading this while taking a crap at work, yeah buddy
fivetimeslonger 24
I had a coworker who would take a "bathroom break" almost every hour and she'd take 10-15 minutes each time, leaving whoever was left to deal with a line of waiting customers. She usually took her purse back with her, too. It was obvious she was on her phone & playing with her make up. We called her out once when she posted something on Facebook during one of her "bathroom" breaks. She promptly blocked most of us.
MartinDJ 26
Well I mean if it only happens once or twice a week I'd get it but if you literally take 10 minutes every single time you go to the bathroom that could be a bit but either way it's a harsh reason.
Judiette_fml 9
That's one hell of a Taylorist company.
Britt125 16
That seems like a long time, if it's only happened like once or twice firing you was excessive, but if it happens constantly well I don't totally blame them. They should have warned you first that they need you on the floor/at your desk/whatever more and you need to time try timing your bathroom breaks to be during your lunch/15 minutes (if you get them), but if it happens often they probably take it as an avoidance to working.
katebond 16
way to go...
JerseyBorn7 1
Damn... Then I should've been fired years ago!
captain_kirky 12
my old boss did the same thing, he locked the toilet door and everybody who wanted to take a shit had to ask for a key first.
Liiiiiiiiike 15
I take a much longer time .
S_Gnu 17
People (not necessarily OP) who eat like shit shouldn't be surprised when their bowels move at the rate of continental drift.