Today, our three year-old, who we thought was in bed, was actually on the stairs over our shoulders while we watched a black comedian. Guess which new and exciting bad word he keeps saying that is sure to piss black people off. Yep, that word. We can’t go out in public anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML
Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML
Today, my toddler started running around the house yelling, "Daddy said a bad word!" over and over again. I don't even know what I allegedly said, but now my wife is giving me the "we need to talk" look. FML
Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML
Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML
Today, my four year-old son has reached the phase where yelling random words is funny. I can't go five minutes without hearing, "CHICKEN NUGGET!" or "KALAMAZOO!" or "STINKY SOCKS!" FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Ok, so have you thought of any bright ideas yet on how to knock that awful "word" out of his already small vocabulary?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Teach him how to say "Quetzalcoatlus" instead. Not only will he forget the bad word, but it'll really freak out his day care teachers.
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Comments (3)
MidnaLink 35
Ok, so have you thought of any bright ideas yet on how to knock that awful "word" out of his already small vocabulary?
WardenWolf 26
I'm sorry, but this is just too damn funny. You're going to have to do whatever it takes to get him to stop, even discipline if necessary. "Just because he said it doesn't mean we give YOU permission to say it." Three years old is NOT too soon to start disciplining kids, as they are fully capable of understanding they did something bad.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Teach him how to say "Quetzalcoatlus" instead. Not only will he forget the bad word, but it'll really freak out his day care teachers.