Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
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Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
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Comments (133)
frdcurly 11
What if OP has IBS or something similar? You can't rush pooping when you have IBS, trust me.
HotShot313 15
You need a hug dude.
thrlyrist 6
I have an issue where I can't go when there is noise / are people in the washroom. It takes me like 5 min when I have the washroom to myself, but sometimes when there are many people coming and leaving it might take me 20. That's why I hate going at work.
tonyfan00 38
I usually take 30-45 minutes per dump. I feel for you. :(
sunshine_haha 2
obviously, you're safe
Pixiecrack 11
Did you work at Costco?
Blestud 10
10 minutes/day, is 43h a year, that they are paying you to poop
kiaroxilles 8
You could probably try to fight that, OP. At my job we work at an inbound call center and in order to take calls we have to set our status to "Available" and calls automatically come through. To use the restroom we must set ourselves to "Away From Desk". Available time is measured and so is Away From Desk time, and for the longest time I had trouble using the restroom because (FYI this may be TMI for some people, you have been warned) I used to have really unhealthy eating habits and would regularly get constipated, which caused me to use the restroom improperly (contracting muscles) which ultimately led to hemorrhoids. I kept quiet about them for a long time (it was embarrassing) until my supervisor mentioned to me privately I was sitting on a promotion but they didn't feel comfortable giving it to me because my Available time was too low and my Away From Desk was too high. At that point I came clean about my situation, and didn't regret it because turns out the supervisors assumed I was doing what everyone else does - take advantage of the Away From Desk time to go have a cigarette, or even talk on the cell phone in the bathroom. I went through HR and everything, and also finally sought medical treatment and got a doctor's note in addition to changing my eating habits. The medicine helped me with my pain and I was able to improve my Available time all the while decreasing my Away From Desk time. I got the promotion. :) Not sure if you have issues like I have throughout the years, OP, but nonetheless I would try to fight that. They may end up working with you like my job did. Good luck. :)
mrrossh 3
10 minutes? I take 5 minutes because I eat like crap, and even I think that 5 minutes is too long.
apcsox 18
Somehow methinks this is a constant problem and you're taking many 10 minute ***** a day. You wouldn't be fired for doing it once. Tell the whole story, not your "pity me" version for cheap votes