Today, I got fired from my job. Why? Apparently, taking 10 minutes to take a shit is too long for some people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got written up because I took a dump at work that lasted longer than 5 minutes, and I didn't punch out for it as a "paid break." FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML
Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML
Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML
Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML
Today, at work, someone shat outside the bathroom door. Not outside the stall, but in the actual hallway. Guess who got fired for refusing to clean it up! I’m a cashier at a tool supply company and the only female employee. Four dudes refused before I did. FML
Today, I was let go from my job for not being able to come into work early. FML
Today, I got fired for being late. Apparently you're supposed to be on time after your boss specifically tells you that the office will open an hour late. FML
Today, I nailed a job interview and they hired me on the spot. The only problem was I was bursting at the seams and had to poop really bad. After destroying their bathroom and taking my leave, not an hour later I got a phone call saying they're "gonna go a different direction." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nix1993 41
Who the hell timed you?
kelsorg 21
"fly by ***** are the only thing allowed around here!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (133)
Polynomial 28
This is why employers need to provide enemas. Everything would run a lot smoother. Everything would fall and to place. Your job wouldn't be going down the drain. Butt seriously, that was a really shitty thing for your boss to do.
cryssycakesx3 23
did you fall asleep?
juturnaamo 29
I had a guy I was supervising do that. One hour shit. It was a night shift he was called into just to be present so I let it go.
Polynomial 28
How do you edit a comment with the app using voice over?
briang959 47
Maybe it's because you didn't spray or wash your hands after taking a poop and not the 10 minute poop itself.
clairebeargr 8
Ten minutes is too long...
SkittlesGoRawr 19
I have a family member who tends to take about half an hour.
DArthurVaderian 18
That's not good...
Omegapi197 12
Sorry about your dumping experience.
ScottVining 21
I've mastered the minute to win it shit
rockman808 9
Dude stop texting and ********. Hey, better than driving though
rockman808 9
Dude! Cut that shit out and let's go!!!!
msunique_me 13
Aww well, seems like one 'shitty' situation!
Respect101 17
Everyone says this pun anytime there is shit involved in the FML. I'm pretty sure every one is tired of it by now.