Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
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Top comments
challan 19
Time for him to go back to wanking then, isn't it?
woainishamu 21
Bite his dick.
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Comments (118)
starflyer59 17
i dont like jerks. i also did not marry a jerk. so be gone with your disgusting generalization.
Nusted 4
Leave the jack-ass -.-
Enslaved 38
43, you are extremely blessed if you never dated a jerk in your past. But I know way too many assholes and the majority of them are not single. Of corse they usually go after women with low self esteem. :P
NeonCookies89 13
I'd dump him and give him an plastic hand for christmas. just to let him know that hes still single.
n4ture 20
its time for his hand to come back and please him.
Aryn16 14
sounds like he needs to go back to the hand.
CaptMurdock 25
Time to leave him with his hand then.
starflyer59 17
ive had my share of jerks. and obviously, i left them. proving: not all women love jerks. you piss a lot of people off when you generalize.
f_ourlives2013 7
Trade that jerk in for someone who genuinely enjoys your company!
dakatabg 31
Time for a new boyfriend