Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
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Top comments
challan 19
Time for him to go back to wanking then, isn't it?
woainishamu 21
Bite his dick.
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Comments (118)
frecklefacee 6
BREAK UP WITH HIM! That's so rude!
ordonblade46 3
You SUCK a bit less than his hand? Just saying, but in a relationship, shouldn't you be the one sucking more?
IsRaeliPrinCess 8
He must be Deidara if his hands are sucking him! O__O
Mabonga 12
shouldnt listen to other people's conversations
pesukarchu 11
Wow, that's one crappy guy. I know it's an old post, but still. I'm assuming you dumped him long ago.
Queenie2014 11
I hope you dumped him