Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
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Top comments
challan 19
Time for him to go back to wanking then, isn't it?
woainishamu 21
Bite his dick.
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Comments (118)
Rodville 28
You deserve someone that cherishes you. Please leave now and start your search.
GRgoldfish 19
I see a break up in your future.
nvo 6
That's awful. Drop his sorry ass and find somebody who cares about you.
hellox3howlow 17
A piece of advice: if you're a guy who goes around preaching to girls that their boyfriends are assholes and that they left you in the "friend zone", they're not going to want to date you.
hellox3howlow 17
I feel like he only said that just to seem "cool" in front of them. But you should probably get another boyfriend that respects you and wouldn't say things like this to others. And if he really means it, you should date someone that truly appreciates you.
HorrorFan13 2
Dump him
stanjohnson 11
Seems everyone has overlooked the possibility that OP is just a lousy lay. Just sayin'.
hplover7 11
I hope now he's an ex... He isn't worth your time and deserves to have just his hand
jmac1811 9
I would've thought you'd suck more than his hand
MysteryGuest214 10
You depress me, OP. That sentence should have started, "Today, I overheard my ex-boyfriend admitting..."