Username
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Classy
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Calgary, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
miiiiilk
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Superfuzz Big Muff
Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML
Bllllaaaaaah
Juno, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Wax on, wax off
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
during
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
dummy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
katie
🌶️ Spicy
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Sharibabi65
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
S. Dub
🌶️ Spicy
Acting is hard work
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Top comments
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
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Comments (309)
SpectSelf 0
hahahahaha awesome
EvilPotato 15
he's right OP.
jess2gd4u 0
men are so funny. my hubby slighty indicates by bobbing my head down when we are kissing. they must really enjoy it!
Boygenius50 8
The man is a pro.
shannonreneee 11
He shouldn't have to ask.
baseballstuf52 0
52-ur hot
PurpleRae420 0
What a douche
glenzhao2 16
Thumbs up this comment to have PurpleRae kicked off FML
shovels 0
That guy is awesome!
IceeCreamm 7
PurpleRae240 - You get so much thumbs down, is that not a sign?
Gnarlltrugg 0
and that, boys and girls, is how to get blown.
Mitcha857 0
purplerae, for once spare us from your dumb comments and STFU!
arianylas 3
Ugh, what an asshole. You're there making out with him, and all he wants is a ********. Just say "sure honey, why don't we make it a 69, so I get mine too?" Everyone wins!
dolphincheddar 10
52. your sexy
scottishandrew1 0
and that's why you will marry a rich guy right there!!... great attitude ; )
deliciouscake 3
I need to share a beer with this man so we can exchange "Wisdom."
4fencer 0
He's right it isn't. It is your job to suck it for him.
womanjesus 0
what a champ.
TheJester12 15
apparantly women don't understand the concept of " blue balls" . if you're gonna make out with the guy at least help him out. he's right, it ain't gonna suck itself :p
marcranger 29
that was clearly a hint that he wanted you to remove some of his ribs so he can do it himself.
princessRiRi97 0
can you say that into the microphone?? if u didnt get that read the next comment up it fits this FML perfectly!
birchknollbabe32 0
I just do it without asking
agSWAAAAG 0
217-you?! I would have NEVER guessed!!! :0
ShakeMeDown 12
52 so if I was making out with you you would automatically.... eh 'speak into the mic'
chlorinegreen 27
220 FTW
Trololololololo_fml 7
Men - we're just so subtle.
Jojo08_fml 0
Hahah yeah buddy!
leprechaun23 15
the fact that you're a woman and u said it is AMAZING*bows down*
no65438 0
I loveeee your bf!! haha(:
hoodasswhitekid 0
217- let me get your number ;)
jack_bandit 0
*****
Fx13mz 7
I'm stealing that line from him.
LucianDeSouza 4
subtle but powerful message .
jaidonsafira 0
I said it first. Giggity.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Who else but Quagmire?!
canttouchthis90 0
next time you tell him it's not gonna lick itself
jaidonsafira 0
Giggity Giggity Goo!!
fighterboy11 7
Dude I already stole it and unlike this chick it worked to some extent
ilduche069 0
aren't we all?
GetOwnedPuppy 0
ikr, that's rich!
babyyappld 7
wow. at least he tells you what he wants....
ImaWiseGuy 5
haha.. ladies, if you wanna get ahead you gotta give some head...
SunDropGirl 0
that piece of advice fit your name wise guy;)
00SPRANGER00 0
I bow to your logic wise guy
TJ10 0
very wisely said
stfuitscindeeeh9 3
Oh lord.
Yung23 0
3 I's hot hahaha
swdsc 2
I need one I haven't had one in a week
SeerePetrova 0
lol thats funny
blo1983 0
do you have yahoo messenger?
justdealwithit 0
bahahaha true
kut19 6
at least it was sweetly.
NomOnShroomz 14
Hate to burst your bubble but I don't think it ended very sweetly...
Heavyrocklegend 3
salty...
womanjesus 0
true ^
vegan_muffin 5
Pineapple juice
GreekYogurt 26
So romantic!!
ambowew 7
Time to point to his hand and say 'no, but you're gonna be shaking it yourself tonight.'
firegirl1993 21
beautiful :D
DjeePee 25
If I was OP I would have said: "You're right, honey, you may start immediately with eating me out if you're so impatient!" Or I would have laughed and opened his pants. As long as he does something in return, this isn't a FML neither a YDI.
WOGBRO 6
Don't say that it isn't an FML I got banned for saying that.
JayBear14 11
offer to remove some of his ribs for him?? :)
OneNightStan 2
thats why your prob single
lonewolf6613 4
71 why his ribs?
The_Weirdo 10
So he can suck Mr Happy
JayBear14 11
Marlyn Manson had a couple of his ribs removed if I am correct so he would be able to bend down and give himself a *******. I think thats what the boyfriend should do :)
Sassybq1 13
5. GENIUS lol
Ruff_fml 3
Lol, awesome fella if I may say so.
ready4dis 0
Sounds romantic, did you follow through?
Brezhna 0
Love, if it could suck itself you wouldn't have been invited round, that's for sure.
liy223 6
preach
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Well...it's not. That would be freaky (awesome) if it did.
PSQ91 6
Heaven :)
Blueglasscup 18
I was just about to say that.