Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear, "It's not gonna suck itself." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
challan 19
Time for him to go back to wanking then, isn't it?
woainishamu 21
Bite his dick.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
aylatan_ 9
Get the hell out of there
nerdlove422 14
At least you know you're good in bed :)
azrael_666 1
You heard that he doesn't appreciate you...... And you are still calling him boyfriend because....?
ROSI3TH3CAT 18
Dump him, cut off his hands! Suffer >:)
AlexiAwesome 10
Just a little ;D
EVnIAS 13
but you said you dated jerks so at one point you were attracted to them... given you did change that and ended up with a kind person, congrats by the way, it still does not disprove the original statement.
droln4maltesers 8
Looks like he'll be back to using his hands!
nikolkaw 9
Buy him a blow up doll. Then leave him. You deserve better.
brittlehorn20 21
91: not all guys act like jerks from the get go.
Vinnie500 14
WOW, YDI. Because you didn't say "ex-boyfriend" you deserve what ever he gives you