Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I failed a CAPTCHA seven times before completing it. They didn't lie when they said they are making them harder. I don't think I'm a robot, but maybe I should get tested. FML
Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML
Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating service, a couple of days after my divorce. I got my first batch of matches, and number one was a smiling picture of the woman who had just divorced my ass after 20+ years together. Her profile shows she has to have been active there for months. FML
Today, I felt so lonely that I went on an online chat website and pretended to be a girl just so someone would talk to me. FML
Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML
Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML
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Top comments
macrosoft 3
looks like you filled out your personal information really well:)
whiteboy7thst 2
Sounds like your a prick head. just saying.
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Comments (157)
PrickHead 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you sound to me like a depressed loser just sayin...
loveforsoccer 0
no sh*t Sherlock
whiteboy7thst 2
Sounds like your a prick head. just saying.
mind_geek 15
beat me to it whiteboy7thst
opendoorclosed 8
Online dating sites, even though they want to say they are, they are not really personal. The best way to meet new people is going out, doing activities, volunteer, get in a class of some sort, anything that at the same times boosts your self-esteem! Have fun with life, you can't be in an eternal search for that "someone"! Do the stuff you love the most and the rest will flow.
bubble25_fml 5
40 you sound just like a fortune cookie, and while you make it sound so fulfilling and light, some people just don't have the time and energy to do that and online dating sites are extremely helpful for that.
ifyouseekamy666 0
my mom found my stepdad on an online dating site... he's the biggest dumbest old prick ive ever met and i hate him with every ounce of my being... yeah.. dating sites work great.. -.-
opendoorclosed 8
Lol #49 I did sound like a fortune cookie HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Omg you made me ******* laugh so hard. I'm sorry for that :(.
imacreeper 3
I think those plenty of fishes in the sea got stuck in cyberspace somewhere..
chuck1986 0
or they are great for lazy people who can't meet someone in real life.
EvilPotato 15
yep it's true, everybody on the internet hates sarcasm.
sheethapins 13
If you don't have time to do activities or classes to meet people, you probably don't have time for a relationship. If you're busy all of the time how do you expect to have time to spend time with a lover? Aren't there off days in peoples lives? I think that if you don't time for online dating you got time to go to a park or social function.
sheethapins 13
*exclude the "don't" in that last sentence.
sheethapins 13
*replace it with "have." I can't think right now... stupid meds...
MrHughJass 0
OP just got shitted on by match.com
bubble25_fml 5
59, if you join an online site site because you don't have time to go out and "take classes" chances are that you'll meet another person who also does not have time to go out and "take classes"... interesting how that works out huh??
rofflewaffle 9
Pshhh. I met my boyfriend on /b/. We've been together over three years. People only think online dating is weird because it's still relatively new. Yeah, there are creepers online sometimes, but there are creepers in bars, clubs, parks, supermarkets, and everywhere you go. That's no reason to pooh-pooh it. It works for some people and not for others. I've always found you find the best partners if you meet them doing something you both have in common. I have friends that met playing WoW who are getting married soon. To each his own!
ReynshineCutting 10
My fiance and I met on an online dating site. We've been together almost 3 years. My dad met his current wife on there (and ironically enough he was matched with my mom who had divorced him 10 years earlier so they're not perfect). They're not for everyone but can work great.
zendaddy0 0
at least you diddent get upside down letters I swear I had to get on a whole nother site to do that then I found out you could use normal letters the whole time feels bad man
a_nutritionist 10
@40 yeah good idea, partake in activities you wouldnt normally do just so you can meet people. that way youll find someone who enjoys doing things you dont enjoy, and youll end up being stuck in a place you dont want to be, waiting for the day they give up that thing you never wanted to do in the first place...OR you could just be proactive in the activities you enjoy - so say, going online? - and meet people there. have you tried meeting people in places you dont enjoy going? it sucks. they end up being someone you really dont connect with. its sad the closed off mentality people have to meeting people, as though theres a right and wrong way to do it. if you even stop for a moment to consider what that means, youll realise what a crock of shit it really is.
opendoorclosed 8
#116 By activities I didn't mean camping or something you don't enjoy. For example, lets say OP had always wanted to learn how to use Photoshop real nicely, then go get in some Graphic Design classes. I meant doing something OP had always been interested in doing but hadn't done, not to force himself/herself to do something he/she doesn't wanna do!
a_nutritionist 10
if people wanted to do something theyd be doing it. if they arent doing it they dont have the time or they cant afford it.
spazzy910 0
You can think that just don't say it out loud or in text. However wrote this might get offended.
iLikeWaffles155 5
Well, are you a depressed loser?
IHATETROLLSS 0
shut up.. such a common comment on here
matt0794 1
interesting, my CAPTCHAs are usually random letters and numbers and such. indeed FYL.
lonewolf6613 4
um... what is a CAPTCHA?
36591951 9
the random letters and numbers you have to type in as security verification
lonewolf6613 4
thanks. I feel very enlightened now. :)
sxe_beast 11
lmgtfy.com/?q=captcha OMFSWTFBBQGTFO Newb
uncbballwins 0
Sometimes it's two words instead of randoms
kai_ngo 0
Site owner can set it up as random alphanumeric or two random words.
boyguydudemalema 0
nice rack #3 *wink*
natsaysheyyy 16
They did that purposely on that dating site, I think.
macrosoft 3
looks like you filled out your personal information really well:)
Hockeyboy4280 18
Hey Macrosoft, the ocean called for you, they're running out of shrimp.
macrosoft 3
hahahha Seinfeld quotes:)
ovechkinisbeast 9
The jerk store called, there running out of jerks XD Seinfeld quotes indeed.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Oh so that's what those are called! Learn something new everyday!
emmiep1011 7
coincidence? I think not.
bodmonontheblock 0
u think ur hot huh?
baseball6917 8
good looking? I think so. lol
bodmonontheblock 0
her head is shaped like a penis jk jk
LaughinStock 16
shes cute...but what do i know im just a chimp
aussie_gemini 5
7 this isn't the internet dating site OP speaks of... although you do come across like a 'desperate loser
aussie_gemini 5
whoooopsy not 7... 93! lol
emmiep1011 7
woah woah woah. lets all settle down now.
tanneriscool 2
That girl is not cute.. Looks like she's 40 and has been smoking her whole life.
tanneriscool 2
But I'll tell you 129 is a Cuttie pie.. Not trying the dating thing here. I've got my girl :)
999pun999 0
your depression is even affecting the website 0_0
Topygrl21 8
hehe
hamster_10 2
if your computer can tell your a depressed loser you must be a seriously depressed loser
quadder 0
at least he heard it from his close friend lol
kylek61294 1
*"if your computer can tell you're a depressed loser then you must be a seriously depressed loser"
stilettex33 5
I keep seeing you correcting others on multiple FMLS, it's really annoying.
keilanclarke 0
and who are you to be uptight? you're not a relavant or attractive person.
hamster_10 2
am I really that memorable to you? wow FYL...
ThogTheCaveman 7
You find it annoying? We, the correctors, apologize. We just find it annoying when you're wrong.
ShelbyyCakess 0
the amount of depressed losers have been going up lately.
keilanclarke 0
the amount of gross looking girl's commenting on FMLs has been going up lately.
atomicbaboon 0
the amount of jackasses who think they're funny posting on FML's has been going up lately. huh, I kinda like this game.
Topygrl21 8
Haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
101 are you saying 10 is gross? because she looks pretty. your gross. you ******* pig.
ShelbyyCakess 0
oh shut up.
hamster_10 2
can you keep harsh comebacks like that to yourself please shelby? it's a bit to far
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
haha! wow.. hmm.. thats fantastic.
Blueglasscup 18
You're 16 and you have a Maserati?!
regsworld11 2
she's probably lying(:
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
no im not lying. your probably just jealous.
Blueglasscup 18
Sorry I just find it kind of odd that someone so young is driving such an expensive car. I mean how good of a driver can you be at the age of 16? You've just recently learnt to drive and you're driving a good car that you might bang up due to inexperience... But if it's true then good for you. And yes I would be ******* jealous seeing how I'm 15 and I'll only be able to drive at 18 and I'll probably never be able to afford a Maserati.
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
no that was meant for 89 sorry :) but ive been driving since i was 11. its my passion. i am a verry good driver and a very smart one as well. i dont street race. and thiis particular maserati actually isnt too expensive. its an affordable exotic car. who knows maybe one day youll get something better :)
PSQ91 6
That guy just took my line :)
XxMaseratiGurlxX 1
and what line is that 112? :)
regsworld11 2
well shit, if I had a maserati, I would have that as my picture as well as my name "maseratigirl". not some mirror pic(:
sully117 0
i love your car!!!!!!!!
SilverGTP99 8
It's called mommy an daddy.. Some people actually work for a living.. It's sad that my 3000 dollar car will destroy a Maserati in a 1/4.