Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
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Top comments
weveallbeenthere 30
she's a keeper.
cooltatgar 31
Lol You gotta adore a girl with a sense of humor. She sounds like a keeper.
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Comments (73)
otumboo 10
she has a great sense of humor
cathrope 10
This needs a follow up. Other then spit coffee on you, what else did your dad do?
1947Chevy 17
My dad would not let me live that down but at the same time he would be glad that I found somebody with a good sense of humor
captainsmegma 12
Maybe you can regift it to her mom next mother's day.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
And put your girlfriend's name on the return address.
Chrisindent 13
My friend did that almost exact same thing on me. I didn't know what to do with it
brand125 17
i know what to do with it
x_the_lancer_x 13
My friend has joked that one day he will send a fleshlight to me, just to freak me out. I really hope he is joking.
swedeNix 13
Hahaha ur life doesnt suck and u didnt deserve it either!!! Check youtube: pranksters in love, nikki and John for payback hints:)
IHazNoUsername 9
Well... I don't think that was necessarily too far. How was she supposed to know your dad was looking over your shoulder? That girl's a keeper.
sexual_girl 15
When do prank wars not go too far...? Though, if if I was in a prank war, I would've been more cautious opening a package I didn't expect to receive.
Calingaladha 21
It's not called taking the war too far. It's called winning the war.
aecribb 14
Yeah, I'm still wondering if your Dad spat his coffee out out of shock, laughter, or some combination of the two and also curious about the conversation following this.