Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
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Top comments
weveallbeenthere 30
she's a keeper.
cooltatgar 31
Lol You gotta adore a girl with a sense of humor. She sounds like a keeper.
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Comments (73)
FMLworthy5000 21
I wonder how your mother reacted.. I sense an up coming family intervention (y)
englacobain 14
12, well that sounds a bit homophobic, doesn't it.
slyde32 12
how does it sound homophobic? "now son, you know we love you, and we'll respect what ever choices you make. You know you don't have to be ashamed to tell us" not so bad, is it
Earths_Venus 25
Wife her immediately!
TequilaSam 6
******* hilarious!
worldclassrager 41
Being in a prank war and receiving something like that I would open in my room...but now it's your move...be creative and I hope your dad didn't burn your neck
UmmOkThen 31
So what does your dad think? There are so many ways that could go.
AcieMcG 21
She wins.
killerdana 19
Get down on one knee and propose to her. If she says "yes", you got her back. If she says "no", my apologies.
miracoria 10
I'd say she won that prank war.
trellz17 19
Perfect timing it seems.
drowningfishy 7
Get her a "ring" if you know what I mean.