Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
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Top comments
weveallbeenthere 30
she's a keeper.
cooltatgar 31
Lol You gotta adore a girl with a sense of humor. She sounds like a keeper.
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Comments (73)
weveallbeenthere 30
she's a keeper.
johnnyiskeenan 13
The dad ain't so sure about that
weveallbeenthere 30
I bet the dad plays pranks too. And he probably will joke about it for years.
Ravike 17
There's no coming back from that in your dad's eyes haha, but got to admit she's a keeper.. Well you can still send a strap on and a small letter to your gf's place but as a Amazon luxury gift package with her best friends name as the sender so the chances are high that she'll open it in front of her family with a bang haha (but make sure to drop a call before she shout at her best friend) ;)
orbit 22
Lube it up and send it back with a thank you card and see what she says
randomcrazyguy 17
Can't imagine the conversation after that....
Yeshua_fml 19
"Word to the wise: never let it go?"
cooltatgar 31
Lol You gotta adore a girl with a sense of humor. She sounds like a keeper.
websphere69 27
what a ****...
Welshite 40
Cork?
BreathingClover 19
sounds like she's mailing you a hint
PaulikShah 5
She knows how to surprise you
SexyMexi21 23
You've got the best gf lol hahaha. how'd you explain that? lol I just faved that
tigerisabelle 31
i bet your dad didn't believe your explanation... "NO DAD IM NOT GAY I SWEAR MY GIRLFRIEND SENT ME THIS PACKAGE" "Sure son, you can expect me to believe that's not the only 'package' you're opening"
maximus_prime 24
There's nothing like having some warm liquid spurted over your back while you're checking out your new ***** and lube.
alex_622 22
Did your dad spit out his coffee because he was laughing?
ohSNAPyall 27
No, he thought OP's neck might be thirsty.
cadillacgal79 32
Some girlfriend you got Are you sure she isn't one of the Jokers (Impractical Jokers) in disguise?
LisaDay 14
one of the Jokers would have given it to him in person. Or asked him to help bury it in the park.