Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, I received a package addressed to me. Excited, I opened it in front of my whole family. Inside was a box of adult toys that I definitely did not order. Turns out, my friend Mike thought it would be hilarious to send it to me as a joke. My grandma's face will haunt me forever. FML
Today, I finally received the vibrator I ordered online. Too bad they labeled what the item was on the outside of the box, and my dad was the one to pick up the packages. FML
Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "Sexual health products." Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Today, when my girlfriend walked out the room, for a laugh, I covered my whole body except my knob in blankets. Then when I heard her come back in, I yelled, "Surprise!" It was her mom, who'd dropped by unannounced. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
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Top comments
weveallbeenthere 30
she's a keeper.
cooltatgar 31
Lol You gotta adore a girl with a sense of humor. She sounds like a keeper.
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Comments (73)
strangeite 4
I dunno man, that's kind of funny (unless your parents are super homophobes and it'll be a lot of trouble for you if they don't believe you)
Alikgentry 8
be creative and get her back. hilarious!
Twisted_Angel 17
Could have been worse, she could have sent you a buttplug too. :)
TechnoKitten 17
This so needs a follow up
mechaix101 2
He choked because he was prolly wondering how your moms ***** got in the mail
tysonx23 4
She definitely a keeper lmaofd
vividpictures 17
I sense the beginning of a great relationship.
nikko0328 9
"dad i swear to the next taco bell taco i get, it..is....not...mine".
Chezzlova 5
Well, game on.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
LOL! Busted! Plot twist: Your girlfriend ordered them for herself to be used after you received them for the prank. :D