Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
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Top comments
pokemyeyes 23
YDI for making her reach the point where she has to schedule herself into your calender and send you reminders.
charlamagnet 9
Be happy your actually having sex OP, Some of us aren't as lucky.
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Comments (69)
GreyJedi 10
She meant to send it to me, sorry.
BlondePsycho 43
Thats only after he missed the calendar alert for foreplay.
kpetrovski 24
Lol, is that a thing?
Wiringify 22
Plot twist : sex with somebody else.
iAmPaul 49
"Woe is me, my wife wants to have sex with me." - OP
WOTAN1488 24
Oh fyl so much, your wife wants to have sex with you. Fyl hard >_> *sarcasm*
TallMist 32
What if OP doesn't WANT sex, though? If this was a one time thing, if OP's wife doesn't nag him for sex, then this wouldn't be an FML, but, because it is, I'm willing to believe OP's wife is constantly trying to get him to have sex with her, which I'd find annoying too.
EPIKxPANDA 13
Next time, tell her to make the reminders hilarious. "Let's make a baby" or "I'm getting what's mine."
alex_jaguara 33
Well not the most romantic and sexy way but hopefully it worked.
ezrajab 22
Damn that sucks YDI tho. Always no matter how busy your life gets always give your significant other time!
TOPsCinderella 25
That sucks, maybe watch a little less SG-1 and pay a little more attention to wifey. Idk, pretend she's Sam and you're Jack? ;p