Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
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Top comments
pokemyeyes 23
YDI for making her reach the point where she has to schedule herself into your calender and send you reminders.
charlamagnet 9
Be happy your actually having sex OP, Some of us aren't as lucky.
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Comments (69)
scyth3s 13
I wanna say you deserve it, but I can't. It doesn't sound like you deserve sex.
GoldLeader 19
This is the best comment on here! Seriously, we're suppose to feel bad his wife wants to have sex with him!?! You're right he doesn't deserve sex.
cheshirecat13242 32
There are worse things she could've scheduled for you.
Schizo_teddy 4
You can't always have spontaneous and fun sex. This is the real world where people have jobs and lives and get busy. You can have fun sex but I don't see people having always spontaneously. Studies show planning sex actually helps keep the sex life going longer.
conman531 23
Dude, bang your wife.
janfleury 19
At least you know what to expect tonight. I suggest you and her start making more time for the 2 of you. Date night and whatnot. Call her and ask her out and plan more than dinner and/or a movie. Be romantic (wine, fruit and cheese by a lake/water and talking) Get to know each other again. Sex will happen then and not on a schedule. She is trying to tell you she misses you with the Google schedule. She has most likely tried before and you missed it so she is trying a more shocking direct action. Good luck.
tiredofwaiting 25
Be thankful for the fact you are getting laid.
jayennachristine 23
And then their children caught the flu, and the night was cancelled..
WhatHappenedToIt 22
I take it your trying to have a baby? That would be the only reason I see for it if she's ovulating.
Wer3Wolf3 16
She could have just left you for that horny neighbor across the street...
pleasedie 22
Never good when you have to make schedules for sex......