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Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML

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Halloween

A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.

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Top comments

nibawan 0

maybe she was checking to see if you passed the one minute mark yet

drakem 7

Be faster :D

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Comments (120)

drakem 7

Be faster :D

Nena713 0

You forgot be harder

failblorg 0

Bethiigeex ruined the rotation :(

WishResign 0

BethiiGee 

pooper19 3

maybe she had snickerdoodles in the oven.

lm27 5

hint hint, it means it's time to finish up

xdeadxradiox 0

With #40s comment, did anyone else of the FMLer, Snickerdoodles, being trapped in an oven? I did! :D

BethiiGeex 0

lmfao, sorry (:

Einstein714 0

you got a nut didn't you, then this isn't an FML

seanders 10

He should be happy most women dont get the chance to check before the man's done. She got to twice!

MrSassypants 34

Harder, better and stronger. I'm not sure he'll want to be faster. Plus maybe she has OCD like me. I always have to check the time. Literaly always. I'm spend my whole day looking at the clock. I'm looking at it right now. Jk but I do have OCD like that.

mak3_1t_ra1n 0

I'm sure it was just because it was so much longer than normal. she was amazed.

ravenousrhino 0

you should break out the whip next time

slayerxx 7

lol that's pretty hilarious not gonna lie

aireeahna 23

doesn't matter had sex!

nibawan 0

maybe she was checking to see if you passed the one minute mark yet

oakleyguy 0

try lasting for 6 hours of love

imcutefml 0

orly?

zinoxity 23

21, and 25 made me LOL!

yuhimjesus 0

orly?

gordodestroyo 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

find someone who isn't a thoughtless bitch

22cute 17

Find a little technique for pleasing her & not just yourself.

withered 30

I think a selfish partner is more thoughtless than someone not pretending to enjoy bad sex.

breenntt 0

HAHAHAHAHA. Your wife is awesome!

RyNo24 4

put it in her butt next time, she will have more than the time on her mind then!!!

jmsbigley 6

I agree hahaha

jmsbigley 6

I agree hahaha

bayonet 0

haha hurry the **** up!

marinus_fml 20

She's just checking to see if you beat your old personal best.

bittersweet1 0

haha that's what I was thinking

blaine72 0

unappropriate is not a word. inappropriate is.

DarkHelmet 10

LOL WIN!!!!!

gusgus36 5

YDI...it must have been super boring for her to be checking the time. or maybe it was a quickie in the morning and she needed to get ready for work or she'd be late, in which case maybe it doesn't say anything about your performance.

DarkHelmet 10

Why are you trying to get OPs hopes up...if she checked twice in that timeframe he was doing horribly dreadful

gusgus36 5

best case scenario? lol yeah unlikely but I guess you never know

BadKitty13 28

Guess you better step up your game a bit !!! Oh and stop being so BORING !!

Cinn_fml 23

Don't bore her then. Either she wasn't really up for it but was feeling too nice to turn you down, or you generally don't do it for her. Maybe you should ask which?

beccusmaximus 0

Or maybe she had somewhere to be? Late for work maybe? Or perhaps she wanted to go to sleep. Who knows. Either way, if she was enjoying herself, she wouldn't have had to check the time at all.

Cinn_fml 23

Yes, maybe she was conscientious of being late. But surely that would come under the heading of being too nice to turn him down but him wanting it?