Planning
Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife checked the time while we were having sex. Twice. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
Today, my wife started checking her email on her Blackberry while we were having sex. FML
Today, my wife is upset at me for having to remind her of her responsibilities. She dropped the ball several times in the past, and she hates that I remind her to prepare for upcoming deadlines. FML
Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML
Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML
Today, I discovered my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I've had in the last year. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pokemyeyes 23
YDI for making her reach the point where she has to schedule herself into your calender and send you reminders.
charlamagnet 9
Be happy your actually having sex OP, Some of us aren't as lucky.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
pokemyeyes 23
YDI for making her reach the point where she has to schedule herself into your calender and send you reminders.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Unless it's the other way round and she schedules when they'll have sex and just sends him reminders about it. Either way, you both need to sort out your sex life.
ukeandfoodislife 19
People with jobs and a real life can't always have a spontaneous sex life. OP should be happy she still wants to have an active sex life.
Elijah0 16
You've obviously never been scammed into marriage. 9 times out of 10 it's the wife that turns frigid and kills the sex life. After marriage the only screwing that you'll get is in the wallet or in the soul. PS. Marriages are a lot like tattoos: They might look good at first, but they're expensive as hell to remove and still leaves a scar.
MandieL 27
You are obviously very bitter about a bad marriage #32, but I have known my fair share of couples, married and common law, and I can assure you're statistics are incorrect. Most of them are very happy and have active sex lives. Don't drag down all women because you had a bad one, it really pisses off the women who don't deserve it (which in my circles is probably 75% of them) I know some stereotypical wives, but most of them that I know are wonderful. So don't bring your shit here as if it is like that for every other poor man out there. Who knows, maybe you were a shitty husband and just couldn't see it through your own arrogance.
wobbly1 16
They could be trying to have a baby and she's ovulating. No working overtime today!
SquidInTheSky99 19
If this FML had been about a woman receiving a reminder for sex from her husband, everyone would talk about what a pig he was. Even in a marriage, no one's entitled to have sex from the other.
quackImapenguin 16
What makes you think it's a point that's been reached? Could be she was just being flirtatious or quirky. Maybe she was bored and the calendar was just there. Or maybe she bought some new lingerie and had something planned. I don't see how this is an FML or a YDI.
inutaru 14
Who pissed in your Cheerios
Jessika706 14
Ur such an idiot. I'm guessing ur twice divorced and miserable. Not all marriages are sucky.
barakicohen 11
Send her a reminder for "********"
mds9986 24
And "clean the kitchen" and "cook me dinner."
thawny_fml 21
38 you need a new calendar, I think yours is stuck in 1950.
ukeandfoodislife 19
Oh my god I think I love you
MrConcise 35
People thinking MDS is ever serious? Weird. When did women kitchen jokes stop being funny Then again, I'm still blurting out "so's your face!"
Fairyjoshy 13
They stopped being funny when people developed a sense of humor :)
MrConcise 35
Oh, I don't buy that. People still think slapstick comedy like The Three Stooges is funny, I don't think our sense of humor has evolved as much as you think. It remains pretty silly and underdeveloped.
ScarredVox92 16
This.
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
shouldn't have to remind her lol she should enjoy pleasing her husband
Welshite 40
Organization is an invaluable life skill. How long did she schedule the event? One hour? Two hours? Ten minutes?
RenoTheRhino 30
Exactly 37 seconds.
hopalong88 3
That's exactly 35 seconds longer than I need
charlamagnet 9
Be happy your actually having sex OP, Some of us aren't as lucky.
columbusthecat 17
You're*
stfudonnie 10
sshh..No one likes a grammar Nazi!!!
MrConcise 35
The amount of inconsistency FMLers exhibit towards their love of correct grammar is ridiculous. "As long as it's not absolute garbage, your grammar doesn't matter if you're funny or doing some #REALTALK, but if we don't agree with you or think your sense of humor is terrible, WE WILL TEAR APART YOUR SINGULAR BRAINFART USAGE OF THERE INSTEAD OF THEIR!"
tarlax 11
FFS Concise, if anyone ever needed to stop commenting... "OH NOES, FML users have different opinions on an issue, how hypocritical!" I know you'll see your downvotes and tell yourself the people who gave them to you are sheep or stupid or whatever, but the simple fact is, your comment is just plain garbage. Yeah, "your" not "you're."
MrConcise 35
Once again you don't cease to disappoint. Very amusing, keep it up.
MrConcise 35
Also, not even sure how that last bit is relevant since I didn't criticize proper grammar or use an incorrect form of a word myself. Crazy how you haven't been banned; you're so hostile you make even *me* look like a saint.
jxx1x 4
Hey at least you're getting some.
THEDUDE1553566 24
At least she wants to have sex with you
cat4651 15
If that's the measure she needs to go to to get you to have sex then YDI!
Karinrinkashi 9
someone is judgemental!
hufflepuffle 13
It's FML, this place was made for us to judge others.
buckstop1 37
Well to be fair, some FML'S only tell half of the story. Some people do it because of the amount of space granted to them. Others only tell small pieces of what actually happened to make it sound different than the situation presented to them. What I'm trying to say is that as far as we know, OP's wife doesn't want to have sex, but knows it's unfair if her husband wants sex, so she sets a date on the calendar to try and maintain a minimum sex qouta. Or perhaps the OP and his wife have different schedules, so it's hard to find the time to change from a "lady in the streets" to a "freak in the sheets". Maybe you're all just jumping to the wrong collusions too quickly, without any knowledge besides the small sentence OP gave you.
oobergoober89 16
I'm getting that your wife likes everything planned out
giantsfan2010 23
Sex is not something you should plan out. It's supposed to be spontaneous and fun!
MandieL 27
Yes, but unfortunately sometimes life gets in the way. I'm not saying it should be scheduled on the calendar, but maybe planned date nights. With work and kids it can be hard to find time, but it is very important to find the time in any way that works.
rabbi1010 29
Or unless they stopped having sex completely and shes trying to find a way to reconnect.
Badkarma4u 17
That statement means you dont have kids.
MissBehavin77 18
Should be but I'm married too and found out quick that getting married means no more sex life. I feel sorry for OP but sometimes, that's just how it is unfortunately.
quackImapenguin 16
Planning sex builds the anticipation! Spontaneous is fine, but it's not the only good way to have sex.
lulinator 40
This is bad that she wants to have sex with you? Unless you don't want her, I can't see how this is a bad thing. I've set alarms on my phone to wake me up so I can jump my man in his sleep.
MagnusDeus 24
Your profile photo makes that comment terrifying.
lulinator 40
LOL, gee, thanks.