Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my wife and I were watching TV. The lady on the show began to talk about how to have a smooth divorce. My wife discreetly turned the volume up. FML
Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML
Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML
Not an Addams Family person
Today, my girlfriend spend all day pouting that I wouldn't watch 'Wednesday' with her, despite my giving the pilot a chance and hating it. Yet when I choose a show, I usually get five seconds before, "What is this? I don't like it! Turn it off." FML
Turn it off
Today, my wife whined that she couldn't sleep, while she had her eyes glued to her phone, her Switch in her lap, the TV on, and her bedside light shining in her face. I've long since learned not to comment on this. FML
Today, I began to undress my wife, who was watching TV, and gave her a massage to relax her while she watched her soap. 20 minutes later, when the programme came to an end, she said "I wish you'd let me watch TV in peace!". FML
Cold reading
Today, I found out why my wife has been cold and distant lately. She went to a psycho fraudster - sorry, I mean "psychic medium" - who said I'm lusting after other women and am thinking about leaving her. She actually believed him. Now I'm considering leaving her for real. Well played, I guess. FML
Today, I found out that my wife had been debating leaving me for an old boyfriend from high school. They rekindled their relationship on Facebook, and talking on the cell phone. Both things I insisted she have. FML
Ciao!
Today, I found out that my wife of 5 years has decided to change everything: her job, clothes, hair style, car, and me. FML
Overcompensating
Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML
Top comments
someteenager 13
Ask her why she does it
Amburito 0
Next time just take the remote from her.
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Comments (123)
Amburito 0
Next time just take the remote from her.
YtotsDI 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok if u wanna get slapped. Don't take a chicks remote! Imma chick and I hate it?
lindseykcool 6
25- that's the exact way I read her comment too.
TheWindowLicker 13
So, 8, if I read that correctly, you're saying that if I DO want to get slapped I shouldn't take a 'chicks' remote. So to be safe and NOT get slapped, I should go an steal my girlfriends remote right now?
Roevera 14
well stop farting and maybe she wont want you to leave!
rednecktrucker 9
What are you in? Like middle school? Like totally you must be.
elidine 0
Take the remote and slap her face with your ****.... Controlling the remote is a mans birthright.
tragicnightmare 15
or he can just walk back into the room again
BikeAllDay818 6
#8 GTFO, please, thank you.
Ozone1232 5
TheIsland is my idol.
someteenager 13
Ask her why she does it
MrSassypants 34
2 to get him to leave. It was kinda obvious, unless you misread the FML then it's no biggie.
deviable 9
I think they meant why she wants him to leave.
MrSassypants 34
Yeah I figured that after a while then I saw my comment edit thing go to 2 then to 1 and then I was all like :(.
MrSassypants 34
I know right? I cried in a corner for two hours. This FML might have been posted a few minutes ago but that does not mean I have not been crying for two hours.
SimpleMinds_fml 7
MrSassypants... shut the **** up
DryHumor 4
Calm your **** 59.
jwade11 12
Don't feel unwanted OP. Although your significant other wants space doesn't mean you're not appreciated and desired. Alone time is healthy, calming, and extremely needed sometimes. All relationships need a little space every once in a while, doesn't mean the feelings have changed, so keep a smile.
Valy_fml 5
What do you do that's so bad she wants you to leave the room?
miz_kamakazi 11
That was my thought exactly! Maybe OP is a talker... Or a questioner.... Or worse.... A spoiler! I hate watching movies with people who won't be quiet!
brown4lifejot 1
I do this to my brother simply becasue he won't shut up, no matter how many times I tell him to.
StitchnLilo 24
In my opinion, while i really hate people who always talk and ask questions and such, whats worse is a bf(now ex) who wont let u watch a movie you really wanna see by always trying to make-out, and if that doesnt happen, they do all of the above(talk, question, and spoil if theyve seen or heard it)
whippymcdumb4zs 0
75 in my vast understanding of how the majority of the male culture operates, they do those things to get you to shut off the movie/show and "make out" those guys are classified as the impatient **** driven "players" and should be avoided.
Euphorically 14
I'm a bit more blunt. I tend to, just as politely as I can, ask them to shut the hell up or leave. Some people just can't and have to ask questions and make comments like "Omg! This is so unrealistic. Why wouldn't she...". I'm assuming the guys one of those annoying pesty people who don't realise that the show is more interesting than them.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Or maybe he just has a killer fart.
MrUnicorn 3
Turn it to Go! Diego Go when she's there. o3o
AdrianEC 15
How about Disney Channel? Bad singing and intolerable actors? I'd leave the whole house. *says the guy with the Phineas and Ferb icon*
lindseykcool 6
that is true about Disney, but the good thing about Phineas and Pherb is that they aren't real, so they're already ten times better than the Disney actors.
lindseykcool 6
Oops, Ferb*
NotsoobviousTrol 5
I used to watch tv then I took an arrow to the knee
baseballplaya5 7
Smack the bitch?
xSonic 9
Ok
brown4lifejot 1
When you get a wife do the same and tell us how it goes
baseballplaya5 7
Ok I'll be sure it
superpoptart 24
Yay for complete senten
whippymcdumb4zs 0
6: you do realize that there is a minimum required I.Q. to join any branch of the military right? And by the way the marine Corp is party of the navy. You should probably do a little research on the military if you're going to attempt to join it.
animalover721 3
Privacy! Some people sometimes just irk other people.
Blueglasscup 18
But surely not when you're married to each other!
animalover721 3
Maybe a little less when married, but everybody still needs some alone time :)
Henneryy 2
Shouldn't She Be In The Kitchen ? ( Im Just Joking ) But Thats Pretty Messed Up Op .
ZTD09 2
Why Do You Capitalize Every First Letter? That's Kinda Weird And Also A Little Annoting.
MrSassypants 34
13 It is but I see no comment that did that. Are you talking to yourself?
animalover721 3
Why do I capitalize every first letter? I'm not, you are. I'm using correct grammar.
tmd4L 7
Just pretend you like the gossip shows or tell her to go in the other room if she wants to watch that shit.
rylove 0
Start acting like you love the dramas to make her leave, then you can switch it back.