Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
a lock on your door would have cum in handy ;) gotta love kids tho
bromeister 6
Time for birds and bees
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Comments (183)
lulinator 40
I'd have rather caught my parents having sex, than them sleeping in separate beds since I was four. False impression on what a relationship is from my memories. Good for you, OP, for making time for one another.
an3ph 20
Very true. All the time I knew them, my parents slept in separate beds, usually separate rooms. I'm glad I've learned what normal marriage is like, but it wasn't from them.
ouch_963 4
I feel really bad for the kid, but to those who say take him to grandma and grandpa's house, they might not have that option. It's really unfortunate and probably confused the crap out of the kid but it is probably way more embarrassing for the parents. Explain it to him like it isn't a big deal. Good luck OP! :)
blackrose3033 4
Totally. Worth. It!
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Invest in a lock....even a cheap little slide bolt that only cost a few bucks. Hell, even putting a chair under the door knob will work in a pinch.
byefelicia1992 8
You're disgusting. Lock your door next time.
magiczebra 9
How is a married couple having sex in their own home at night disgusting? Sex is natural and it's not shameful or disgusting. Grow the **** up.
byefelicia1992 8
108- I doubt you even know what sex is since you look like an ogre. Why don't you get back in your cage, Fiona.
ckerane 16
follow up :)
liquidpwnage 15
Well that poor child is scarred for life. Let's hope he thought you were wrestling.
zoecw 14
should have locked your bedroom door.
DrHail 22
Maybe therapy and a door lock would help :)
brandoneyez1 25
No kid wants to see that.! I didn't want to see my parents and my kid doesn't want to see me and my wife. Poor kid.