Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML
Today, I woke up earlier than most days, I spooned my wife, gently massaging her back and letting her feel I was ready for play. She finally woke up, got dressed, and didn’t give a damn. I had to work it out myself once again. FML
Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML
Today, I got home horny as all ready to jump my husband, until I saw him asleep in his armchair with his gut hanging out his belt, his dinner down his vest, no pants on, and scratching his balls in his sleep. I’m no longer horny. FML
Today, having been in a bit of a dry spell, my husband woke up feeling frisky. I was feeling it too, but I asked if he could get up and brush his teeth as I’d already brushed mine and wanted to have some fun. Instead, he stormed off, insisting I'd ruined the mood. Sorry but morning breath is gross. FML
Today, I told my husband that I missed how exciting it was when we were dating, so he pretended to sneak into my room through the window, we had sex, then fell asleep. All very exciting. Then the bastard actually snuck out while I was still asleep, and didn’t call me all day. FML
Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML
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Top comments
bewareimaninja 5
Hey at least your husband gets you hot and ready to go
RichardPencil 32
How long does it take you to “assume the position?” That’s too long.
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Comments (11)
bewareimaninja 5
Hey at least your husband gets you hot and ready to go
RichardPencil 32
How long does it take you to “assume the position?” That’s too long.
bloopaloop 27
You should get him back with a bj while he’s sleeping. That’ll show him!
Selene1090 26
...And not finish?
bloopaloop 27
Definitely finish him. That’ll teach him a lesson.
bl3ur0z3 17
I would seriously beat him
EmDizzle2007 28
that's funny.
jbuckets_404 39
Tonight you can return the "favor."
vampy719 17
ive been there lol
leighmacj 11
I’m sure you could have found a way to wake him up ;)
Paige Julianne 4
I hate to admit this, but I did this once to my wife. Yeah, she was not pleased.