Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
a lock on your door would have cum in handy ;) gotta love kids tho
bromeister 6
Time for birds and bees
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Comments (183)
steve31789 8
Mommy and daddy were just "wrestling" haha
NiceGuysDoWin 21
100 years ago, there were families with 12 kids that all shared a house with 1 bedroom. It's only a big deal because we (as a culture) say it's a big deal. Children at that age are only embarrassed about walking in on their parents having sex if you act like it is something to be ashamed of.
DemosthenesMB 13
Same for nudity (in America). I don't understand why people are so afraid of seeing other naked people - in Europe, it's the norm! So why raise your kid up to be ashamed of something that is only human nature (like sex)? Or their own body? You can just tell them, "you'll understand when you're older" instead of freaking out about it ;)
Autumnsbeing 9
It is not the norm in Europe. I'm Belgian, so I know what I'm talking about. Okay, neither nudity nor cursing is censured on TV, so you may have a point there.
Pleonasm 36
Yea, bullshit it's the norm in the Europe.
FMLkoala 28
In Germany it's in the norm or I just leave my house on a bad day everyday
byefelicia1992 8
Hypocritical much? We, as Americans, are told to respect everyone else's cultures but the minute it comes down to respecting our culture, no one gives a damn.
kingdomgirl94 29
Its not a matter of respecting culture. No one said as is so often said on the internet, "Americans are so stupid". All that was said was that American culture is far more uptight about sex and nudity; and while we're on the subject of cultural differences, far more lax about violence and gore.
yesnid 2
The kids shows cannot show blood but it is considered OK if parents show their kid a R movie. I saw a zombie movie where a man's intestines got ripped out. A two year old watching it turned to his parents screamed but they ignored him. It made me mad because they would of been upset if it was boobs.
booda44 7
What zombie movie was it?
cwaziemamma 16
It has been over 25 years, and the image of my parents doing the deed still haunts me.... Some things can never be unseen
jesustitts 20
My ex boyfriend walked in on his mom and step dad while his stepdad was giving her oral. Needless to say they were all super embarrassed and he was 16 so there's no forgetting that image.
DaLiquer 20
I guess you never heard of locking the door?
warsun 27
Not many FML OPs know what a lock is
Brianna_Ray 23
Not all doors have a lock either. Where I used to live none of the bedroom doors had locks but I don't know if that was OPs case.
Fmlsea 28
you can always go to a hardware store and buy a doorknob with a lock they are only a few bucks!
bReLiNg 18
All our bedrooms were in the back together. I saw/heard lots when I was kid. Don't worry, he will will be fine. Just try to prevent it in the future.
CDobs 8
If he's "peeking over the top of the mattress" then he's probably not very old. He won't remember it.
dawood_k 27
Should have said "and son that's how you were made"
XoAlexxxoX 5
Time to invest in door locks!! No matter if your kids are sleeping you should always lock it. Trust me. I've had one of my fiancé's best friends walk in on us because he didn't lock the door! I was embarrassed and furious lol
MisterGasMoney 16
Well then
taylahhowell 10
"Son, this was how you were made."