Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I'm afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML
Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML
Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML
Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
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Top comments
bummerbums 16
Next time, try to get a good identifier for your luggage. Like a ribbon or something. That other person probably really wanted their stuff.
iLike2Teabag 27
That is some weird shit to be traveling with.
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Comments (87)
Robtranis 11
I wasted this comment
bummerbums 16
Next time, try to get a good identifier for your luggage. Like a ribbon or something. That other person probably really wanted their stuff.
CandyPewPewPew 29
The last time I put a ribbon and tag on my luggage, they got stolen. My luggage's lock had scratches, and handles were broken, obviously someone tried to force open my luggage but failed. It was a brand new luggage. I reported to the airline, but they said it's not of their business. It's a famous budget airline, I shall not name it out.
BellaBear90 27
I doubt the wannabe thieves targeted you because of your choice in ribbon.
avapaige1234 19
But please do tell your luggage's brand name :)
aimeegoldberg 22
12, have you considered that it might have been the airport security and nothing to do with the airline itself?
morella_xx 29
#33 is right, the TSA breaks locks (or tries to, as may be the case here) all the time. You're supposed to use a "TSA-approved" lock that they can open easily, but that kind of defeats the purpose of securing your luggage in the first place.
niallo 23
If TSA want in your bag, they'll get in. They won't even try to hid it. My sister in law borrowed my luggage. I told her not to put a lock on it. She did. TSA twisted the lock off, ripping off the zipper tags (they don't waste their time picking locks,they destroy them). That's why they tell you not to do that. And those TSA approved locks are really to prevent opportunistic theft. So go ahead and use them.
FYlife604 18
The tsa locks are the ones the tsa has a master key too
iLike2Teabag 27
That is some weird shit to be traveling with.
extrasnipes 22
this would be funnier if we found out the person is a guy
strike2867 13
What if it belongs to a spy?
noobienick 19
No shit?
tigerisabelle 31
Yeah, what if they qualified for a TSA inspection? Haha, I can just imagine the look on the inspector's face...
foxwasalamb 24
a bag of cat litter to soak up everything from the other sexy items right? thats what i always carry.
bromeister 6
Be more afraid of getting touched by the owner, in places you didnt even know existed
beaglegal 42
Your profile picture makes your comment so much better.
Ali_Br_fml 33
...or #6 might be the owner.
belljars 22
The owner was on a very important buisness trip
strike2867 13
We are international businessmen on an international business trip...
paigexox0 37
Im super curious as to who the owner is, PLEASE follow up
Fmlsea 28
yeah trying to explain that authorities wouldnt good down so well.
CandyPewPewPew 29
Pass it back to the airport. Let them return the luggage back to its rightful owner.
steve31789 8
It's mr. Beans things!!