Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML
Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML
Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML
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Top comments
Kinglue 17
I mean I guess you could say you got shitfaced...
hoosiergirl94 31
Makes me think of step brothers when the kids made him lick the dog poop
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Comments (35)
UH60 26
Was it still wet?
tiger820 20
ewwws! but was it?
cluch3 22
Can't you get some word disease from that?
Rigid_Steel 10
How does this get posted but none of mine does ?
Steve97 32
Lol someone's sad they didn't get their little story posted on the Internet for their 20 seconds of attention.
Adam_Power58 16
That's one of those moments you would just need to burn off your lips
mld4657 28
sounds like a shitty situation
derangedplanet 23
you're just really not good at this are you? never make that comment. just don't
mld4657 28
duh that's why I said it its never a good comment...
hoosiergirl94 31
Makes me think of step brothers when the kids made him lick the dog poop
derangedplanet 23
"I've got a belly full of white dog shit and now you lay this shit on me!"
Kinglue 17
I mean I guess you could say you got shitfaced...
olpally 33
6 comments in and someone already said the stupid pun. Time to go wash your mouth op, for like an hour straight, that's disgusting! xD
GloUp_fml 18
Getting shit faced? No longer! Getting shit lipped is where it's at!
Anti_Sora 31
I recommend cleaning your lips a lot because you don't know if the bird dung had any diseases and what the bird ate. It's unsanitary anyways.