Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I received a text saying that a package had just been delivered to the house. By the time I reached the front door, it had been stolen. FML
Today, a couple of packages were stolen from our apartment doorstep shortly after being delivered. A little while later, the thief brought the torn packaging back and left them at the bottom of our stairs. FML
Today, a phone I bought online turned up while I was at work. The delivery guy left a note saying he'd left the package with my neighbor at #10. When I went and knocked on the door and asked for the package, my neighbor said "Nope, nothing delivered here." and quickly shut the door in my face. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, I met my neighbor. When she saw me cutting down trees on my lot, she interrogated me and called the police because she didn't believe I owned the property. She didn't call the cops when she watched someone steal a cord of wood from my property two days ago. FML
Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fluffnugget 4
wow screw her. next time leave her shit out to get stolen. some people just suck....
RichardPencil 32
What a great M.O.! You steal packages and if you don't like the shit inside, you play it off like you're this Great Guardian of the Packages. This throws law enforcement off the trail as the true thief. Brilliant! Diabolically brilliant!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
fluffnugget 4
wow screw her. next time leave her shit out to get stolen. some people just suck....
RichardPencil 32
What a great M.O.! You steal packages and if you don't like the shit inside, you play it off like you're this Great Guardian of the Packages. This throws law enforcement off the trail as the true thief. Brilliant! Diabolically brilliant!
mccuish 25
That’s the last time you be nice
BMXDude22 12
I installed a video doorbell and caught one of those *******, so satisfying.