Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my husband went out for a walk. My kids were tucked in bed and all the chores were done, so I finally had time to myself in a long time. I just wanted to watch porn and masturbate, but then my husband returned early to kiss me good night, and my son snuggled into my bed as he had a nightmare. Me time? Lol. FML
Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
Today, my husband and I were getting it on when we heard a little giggle. I put on my robe and looked outside my room to find that no one was there. So we continued. I later called my seven year old son and out he came crawling from under the bed. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, my husband and I were home alone and we wanted to do the nasty multiple times before our kids got back from school. He lasted less than two minutes, then fell asleep. It's been 6 weeks since my last orgasm. FML
Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML
Today, my son climbed into our bed because he'd had a nightmare. He and my wife spent hours whispering and giggling like they were at a slumber party. Cute, until the next morning, when they were both tired, grumpy, and uncooperative. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
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Top comments
foxwasalamb 24
a lock on your door would have cum in handy ;) gotta love kids tho
bromeister 6
Time for birds and bees
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Comments (183)
emily_in_reverse 6
poor kid /: that's f***ing gross. wait til your kids not home for that. take him to grandma and grandpa maybe? poor kid
tattomama90 2
there nothing wrong with parents having sex when their kids are sleeping. unfortunately sometimes they wake up and something like this happen.also depending on the age of the child not all parents feel comfortable let their kids sleeping over at someone house even if it is family.
jackycat 17
So, parents should never ever have sex again if the child is in the house? Yes, because that logic keeps a marriage together.
pond 3
Really? A couples marriage doesn't simply end just bc they have kids! The parents have every right to be intimate in their own home! Maybe this is what's wrong with today's generation. Too many parents are allowing their CHILDREN to dictate what is to be done. I've heard my parents a time or two growing up, I'm not scarred in the least. I should consider myself lucky if we are able to be that healthy & happy for years to come!
omgomgomg_NO 13
you know that little odd-shaped thing that is on the handle of your bedroom door? That is called a LOCK. Very simple to navigate. USE IT. YDI.
mikbrooke 25
and its common sense to know that NOT every bedroom door has a lock. common sense. USE IT.
omgomgomg_NO 13
And it is common knowledge that stores like Home Depot and Lowe's SELL DOORS WITH LOCKS. and amazingly enough, you can actually PURCHASE said doors. and OH MY GOD, you can change the door to your bedroom for one that HAS A LOCK! Common knowledge...USE IT.
vikky538 29
well ... you should have simply locked the door...
mimi_ivana 13
F his life. Those images are difficult to get out of the mind.(especially the look one has during ******). Sorry OP's son.
Sagan928 7
Have you never heard of locking the door!?!?!
courtneyblue20 8
So sorry OP that your son saw you. But you can either give him an explinaton,get a lock for your door, or as a few others have said 'send them off to grandma and grandpas house'. But I don't blame you and your husband. Kids usually knock when they need to see you at night. At least thats what I did as a child. If my parents door was closed I would knock. Then go in when they said it was okay.
living_in_chaos 8
He deserves it for standing there
robd007 20
that was the hottest thing I ever read!
Pleonasm 36
What the ****?
FMLkoala 28
I imagine you being that person who always says "is it weird if this gives me a boner?"
JuzReading 23
I can just imagine that awkward eye contact
Googolman 29
Why is everyone assuming that the OP even HAS a lock on her door? In my house, there are no locks on any of the bedroom doors.
ohSNAPyall 27
It would not be that hard to get one added to the parents' door. Benefits of privacy outweigh the inconvenience of installing a latch or even a new knob.