Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML
Today, I had to, again, explain to my girlfriend that her jokes about her cheating on me are not funny in any form. Not just because of the topic, but also that she actually has cheated me. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I think counts as cheating. We got into a fight about it, and she eventually broke up with me. Turns out, even by my own standards, I've cheated on her multiple times throughout our relationship. FML
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Top comments
mama2b3 20
So ask her if it's alright for you to eat out other girls.
Pentium_4 27
hmmmm, not the kind of girl i'd want to be going out with. sorry dude...
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Comments (306)
gremlin_bros 19
Dude dump the ***** and find a good woman
cmyk 19
Actually semen dosent give the girl cancer.. -.- the cancer youre talking about is hpv virus, meaning it is only one out of 29 viruses which MIGHT end in cancer.. And most people have it naturally.. Facts. I has it.
newmandotcom 6
At least your girl gives head. Mine doesn't. Be thankful for the small things bro.
irishboy352 0
Dear god you poor sol. I feel sorry for you
mikepattonfan 0
That's exactly why ....
newmandotcom 6
Last I checked dude, doctors actually encouraged oral sex to grow closer to your partner. And there's actually proteins in semen. In fact, there's enough protein in semen that IF a girl could take 200 shots in a day, she would be able to survive off of it. Granted, she would probably get a little thirsty and hungry, but she would be able to survive.
anappleaday 0
Maybe she was trying to better her technique for you as a surprise..? Still sucks, OP. You don't want to kiss that mouth again anyway.
Davidthejoo 0
Benabus please crawl back under the rock you came from underneath. Your ignorance is astounding and to much to handle at this moment in time.
groupleader 7
Did she break up with you after you admitted that you cheated on her with another GUY? Or is she the forgiving type?
wallygolf 3
Seriously? If you have to explain that id also explain to her how to get the **** out.
Jannettecooks 1
Someday you won't think that anymore. Oral sex is not disgusting at all when shared with someone you love. The chances are not high you'll bite him... I've never bitten anyone, and none of my friends ever have. Licking and use ing your hand mostly, sweetie. Infection high? No. Are you planning on sucking an uncircumcised penis that has never been washed? No, none of us are going too! So there is no need of worry, however you should always make sure your partner is free of all std's before having any type of sexual relations.
Raesin 21
Being uncircumcised doesn't mean it's never been washed. Personally I prefer uncircumcised, they look less weird.
Marcelb 17
Indeed, being uncircumsized has absolutely nothing to do with washing or not washing. It can just as easily be pulled back and washed thoroughly. Do you never wash because you wear clothes? They can be taken off as well, just a little tip.
l0v3p4in 7
WTF? Who are you saying this to? OP? OP's girlfriend? This is some of the most random shit I have seen! Biting? Uncircumcised penises? Lower infections rate if it's done orally, then telling whoever to make sure her/his partner is free of STDs before having sexual relations? WTF? Did I miss something?
MissHayleyJames 7
Umm. To some people it's always gross. I'm married and I still think its gross. My husband only gets it as foreplay (so no I don't finish him) if he's just showered. Otherwise it's not going ANYWHERE near my mouth. Ew.