Today, I'm recovering from surgery. Every time I laugh, it hurts so badly I start to cry, which hurts even worse and makes it difficult to breathe. The painkillers I'm on make everything seem funny. I laughed so hard at a dumb pun that I nearly passed out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had all of my wisdom teeth removed. After the anesthesia wore off, I asked how long the procedure took, and the nurse told me a little less than an hour. Apparently I thought this was hilarious and started laughing, which ripped my new stitches. FML
Today, I learned how it feels to sneeze after having major spinal surgery when the pain medication has almost completely worn off. FML
Today, I told my physiotherapist a funny story. She got so entertained that she started giggling and twisted my broken arm. The pain was worse than when it broke in the first place. FML
Today, I got the most painful neck cramp of my life after whipping my head back in laughter at something that wasn't even that funny. FML
Today, I’m still on bed rest recovering from life-altering surgery. My pain is unreal but the pills make me nauseous or knock me out cold. When I try to express what I’m going through, all anyone tries to do is cheer me up without listening. I just want someone to understand what I’m going through. FML
Today, I came home from surgery to remove my tonsils. It's a much better surgery to have as a kid, because when you get older it's much more painful. I didn't know my mom liked pain killers. I do now, because I have none left and I haven't even taken any yet. FML
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Today, after having my tonsils removed, I coughed so hard in my sleep that I woke up spitting blood. Turned out I'd ripped my throat. They had to put me to sleep and cauterize the damaged area. Now I'm in even worse pain than before. FML
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
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Top comments
CheekyRaccoon 27
I'd make a funny joke, but it'd probably be too painful to read.
whatarethisss 23
Just try to sleep..get well soon.
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Comments (39)
totallynotemily 25
That sucks
CheekyRaccoon 27
Nope, it just hurts.
fuckfuckityfuck 16
Those puns were painful to read
brenton490 19
Nah these puns just take my breath away.
hellobobismyname 24
These are not actually puns.
fuckfuckityfuck 16
All is fair in pun and war
WCARlover 35
Making a dumb pun is usually my go-to comment for an FML but now I don't really want to for your sake OP :/
whatarethisss 23
Just try to sleep..get well soon.
CheekyRaccoon 27
I'd make a funny joke, but it'd probably be too painful to read.
Colon_Man 17
Sounds legit. Also, are you sure the pun wasn't said by a hallucination? I once woke up from post op talking to my dad, who was out having a smoke.
johhnn 8
Praying for you
Tripartita 45
Pfft, that's nothing. I'm sacrificing goats, sheep, and lambs for the OP!
MarkTheMintMan 21
Oh god OP, please don't read the comments until your better.
jansdrs 19
I feel your pain. After a surgery, everyone kept cracking jokes and I nearly passed out from the pain.
enxhi96 21
You must have gotten your tonsils removed because this sounds exactly like my experience.
RageWolf16 31
Or stomach surgery, your abdominal muscles flex a lot when you laugh and that could rip the stitches out of an incision
jansdrs 19
In my case, it was my appendix.
angelitared 27
I want some of those pain killers!