Today, my girlfriend introduced me to her family. She’s always called her dad “Daddy” when talking about him, which is fine, but when we went to their house she kissed him on the mouth as a greeting, and at one point was sat on his lap, almost falling asleep. She’s 25. This can't be a good sign. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML
Today, I was introduced to my dad's girlfriend of six months. I've already heard them sleeping together several times, and seen her car pull away early in the morning. After meeting face to face, I also learned that she's only two years older than me. FML
Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. She warned me they were a little weird. Right when we walked in the door, her parents were there to greet us...in the nude. Apparently this constitutes as a LITTLE weird. They both hugged me. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I was hooking up with my girlfriend when her dad knocked on the clear door that leads to the room. About 5 minutes later both of her parents came in to give us the "talk" which included the first time her parents did it. In detail. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. As I went to shake her dad’s hand, my nervous, sweaty palm slipped right off and I ended up tapping him on the wrist. He gave me the most judgmental look while I awkwardly apologized and wiped my hand on my pants. FML
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Top comments
Sdog 6
Run.
Maddy Bee 12
get out.
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Comments (11)
Sdog 6
Run.
Maddy Bee 12
get out.
ninjacat 10
That family tree is definitely a circle. Get out now before you become a Ray Stevens song.
Plop 17
Pretty sure there's more than one cycle in the family tree.
Lord_Hades 14
I’m in NY and even I know and love his music lol
mccuish 25
Get the **** out
iicccyyy 15
That isn’t as bad as people make it out to be.
Plop 17
True, it's not "as bad as", it's vastly worse.
RichardPencil 32
Ai, Papi!
Wadlaen 24
Well, it sounds like a sign of the possibility for some kinky nights in the future, if you keep her.
SocialSuicide 14
It's awkward yeah, but I've been the girl in the situation (minus the lap sitting). She's just probably used to it and probably doesn't know how weird it actually is. Could also be what her father expects of her, being his little girl. That's what it was for me at least.
Mrs.Rabbit 6
It really isn’t bad at all. Could be just how she was raised. I’m the exact same way. I love my dad and will always be his little girl. I haven’t sat in his lap for years, but that’s because they got rid of the comfy recliner. I kiss my dad and my grandmother on the mouth. Just a peck and it’s nothing creepy, just how we show affection. I understand red flags, but sometimes it is just innocent.
xXravingravenXx 8
Run