Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
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Top comments
AGB10 19
That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !
Lennes 12
The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)
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Comments (188)
tenac71 6
Good for that kid. honest and willing to learn. communication is key
perdix 31
It could have been worse, he could be aware of your clit and still have failed you.
icepick23 12
Ummm, so, what is it? I'd like to know, as well.
eddeeezzyy 19
Does your boyfriend's name happen to be Stan Marsh?
tegraturbo2000 15
tell him to ask cheif
brosiph_Joseph 8
Ur gay
braceinevitable 8
Gotta teach the kid, both of you will benefit
XistingPrince 9
Well now you know he isn't watching ****?
lifeofpie25 16
yuck
Bluekaren16 19
You're a yuck.
random_commenter 9
There are two traumatic moments in a woman's sex life: 1. Realizing that the partner doesn't know where the ******** is 2. He found it (Bernhard Ludwig: A Guide to Sexual Misery)
kurodansei 16
need some elaboration on nuber 2 here.
random_commenter 9
At least in my experience, most women dislike the typical male notion that the ******** is some kind of "happiness button" that is the one and only way to a female ******. We men tend to forget that it is not entirely sufficient just to "flick the switch"...
love_me_electric 20
Most men think the harder they rub it, the better it will feel. They'll rub you down there until you're raw and sore if you let them.
B00K_L0V3R93 31
Wow, that boy needs a lesson in female anatomy 101 ASAP. Poor guy and poor you. FYL
Zebediabolical 45
You are responsible for your own pleasure. You need to show him and teach him what you like. If you aren't wiling to take the time and effort for that you don't deserve an ****** from him giving face.