Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML
Today, my stepbrother, with whom I’ve had a normal relationship with since we were 5, announced that he’s in love with me. I rejected him, but now my stepmom who’s Catholic is blaming me for "seduction and immorality" blah blah, while my dad now thinks my brother is a pervert who needs to live somewhere else. FML
Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, "Your dad and I are so proud of you." Sweet, right? It was meant for my brother. FML
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, my family and I were visiting an aunt. While helping my aunt to set the table, my sister remarked that from behind I look exactly like her. I reflexively blurted out, "Well fuck you too." Very awkward silence. FML
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Top comments
tegraturbo2000 15
keep your door locked op
Welshite 40
Boundaries exist for a reason. You need to set both him and your mom straight.
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Comments (232)
Welshite 40
Boundaries exist for a reason. You need to set both him and your mom straight.
ottokat 15
Exactly! I was relieved when I read over it twice to hear that he's your step brother, OP. But it's still not ok. Make this clear to anyone you can - you don't appreciate such lewd comments from someone you presumably live with. And make sure to tell him never to speak that way to you again
JE553 9
*cue banjo music* you might be a redneck if...
eyepuppy 31
Well, time to move out.
azwethinkweiz87 11
Completely agree. He needs to learn to have some respect for his siblings whether they're blood related or not.
r_bruce69 19
Boundries are necessary and this guy was being a ****, but they aren't actually related...
GweedSincE84_fml 15
This reminds me of some movie the girl says "he is ur cousin." Then the other girl says " yeah but he's like my first cousin"
xDovahkiin 12
Mean Girls
GweedSincE84_fml 15
^ That's the movie! haha some people's kids these days huh?
Crometer 23
That's creepy and kinda disrespectful of him to say, sorry OP
doubleddun 9
I'd just be grateful that they are only related by marriage. However, that's just so creepy.
geko911 22
Well it depends what the circumstances were. A while back, my friend said that to his sister (he was intoxicated but still) while she was having a party with her friends. She just laughed it off and took it as a compliment. If OP's brother really meant it, then there's a little problem but if he didn't, then it's just a funny embarrassing moment..
Dilwann 27
It's not creepy because of them being related (which they aren't even by blood). It's unacceptable if she doesn't feel that way as well, because "I would **** you so hard" would be creepy without consent. Also, it should never be taken as a compliment. In my experience, a lot of straight guys would **** anything that walks on two legs and has a ******. It would be much more of a compliment if he said "I like you as a person" or some shit like that. ... To me at least.
tegraturbo2000 15
keep your door locked op
Ambient25 25
and put tacks on your side of the doorway too, preferably with a big fat warning sign pointing your way
Han1156 23
Don't you mean Legos?
forlifebro 15
I think Legos are worse than tacks, they hurt like hell and leave a damn bruise with dots in it
Genius_Kitty 27
It's a great compliment, but not when it comes from a step-sibling. Since you missed on a great compliment that day; I would **** you so hard OP. There, now all is well in your life.
marzipanimal 15
How is that a great compliment... Some guys will **** anything that breathes. And by the he speaks, he sounds like one of those guys.
Soloman212 28
At least she's breathing? Then again maybe her step-brother is a necrophiliac and this is FML is a sign from the great beyond.
alshygirl 14
It worked for the couple on Lone Star State of Mind lol in all seriousness though that would creep me right out
CallMeMcFeelii 14
The way I see it is, quality over quantity. I'd much rather sleep with a respectable girl than 2 nasty chicks.
marzipanimal 15
Her step brother doesn't seem to be the man who needs a respectable girl type.
RedPillSucks 33
@CallMeMcFeelii - how about 8 nasty chick? 10? 15? How much is one respectable girl worth? Just doing my part for science.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
As I said before, quality over quantity. A few of my friends **** about anything they can, and brag about their numbers. I'd rather have a lower number while having girls who respect themselves. Those girls are usually 10x more attractive than the girls my buddies decide to sleep with.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
So to answer your question I'd say one girl who treats her body as a temple is worth more than 10 of your average ******, on an attractive scale at least. No life is worth more than another. That's definitely not what I mean.
RedPillSucks 33
cool
mfmylifesrsly 30
CallMeMcFeelii - While I do agree with what you have to say for the most part, just because a woman enjoys having casual sex doesn't mean she doesn't respect herself. I know plenty of girls who are promiscuous, and some are very nasty looking and they're two faced, sloppy, self-centered bitches. The other promiscuous girls I know are my good friends who have great manners and class, are great friends, but are promiscuous because they like sex. Just because we like sex doesn't mean we don't respect ourselves or that we are not attractive/are nasty.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I mean attractive as how I perceive them to be, not about their looks. There are some seriously good looking girls who screw everything they can, but to me they are not attractive. It's all personal preference. Trust me, I love sex as much as anyone else, I'm just more..I guess you can say cautious. I don't think lesser of someone who ***** everyone they meet, I just don't think they respect themselves to lower their standards like that. You should think highly of yourself and take care of your body. Personally I have a single girl who I do the deed with, not in a relationship, but when we go to parties or whatever we usually stick to one another just because it's safer. You don't know what some of these people have, and the last thing anyone wants is an STD. Again, nothing wrong with casual sex, as long as your ok with it, and you're safe, have all the fun you want.
jem970 19
@callmemcfeely- you are awesome. Thank you for being a good guy.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Not really maybe they are putting out but just not to you.
Pstraka6 20
Yeah and tell him if you weren't related to him you'd beat his ass. He needs to show some respect for his sister. Who says that?! I HOPE your mother was joking btw.
MateRicks 18
They aren't related
strawberrywine22 30
Yes they are. Even if it's only by marriage, they are now relatives.
MateRicks 18
Not by law
nature_girl_08 14
um...yes...by law...as in, his mother signed an official, legal document stating she is now the spouse of OP's father, making her and her son related to them by marriage.
judea95 16
That doesn't make them biologically related, so "by law" they can't perform incest. There wouldn't be a legal problem with then getting together.
nature_girl_08 14
188: they weren't taking into question whether or not they could commit incest; they were questioning whether or not they were related.
Bcfrmkc816 17
Not according to the law. Asit states the parent of the step child must adopt said sibling for them to be brother and sister I sister and sister or brother and brother.
Aligator67 12
They are related by law, but not blood.
Gothicbunnyx3 16
Well on the bright side you know you're fuckable!!
Zebediabolical 45
He's your stepbrother. You know how many states that's illegal in? ... ZERO!
AppleJuiceBox 10
Regardless of legality, it's creepy.
Krirn 21
Yea, but just cause he'd **** her doesn't mean that she would want to have sexual relations with her step brother.
Steve95401 49
Just because something isn't illegal doesn't make it acceptable to actually do.
Wowxoxo 17
They are not related genetically, so biologically it is not incest.
etishuman22 32
#48, Just emotionally, right?
challan 19
While that's true, we don't know how long they've been step siblings. From toddlers or even elementary school, that's just wrong. If they are 17 and a month... I am not quite as creeped out.
patrickalamo 48
Thank God he is so dumb he thinks you are actually related.
strawberrywine22 30
Hasn't anyone seen Teen Mom? Caitlin and Tyler? Of course their parents got together after they did, but I still kinda found it a little weird. And before I get flamed, I didn't watch of my own accord. When my younger sister got pregnant at 16 our mother forced us to watch it.
fantasyworld 39
I read that she's pregnant again. Are they ever gonna get married? Why would you date and eventually marry your daughter's boyfriend's father and vise versa?
seemore123 10
Remember to lock your door at night...
omgjustno 7
Some people these days don't know what respect and boundaries are. Sorry to hear you have a pig for a step brother. But maybe Your mom probably only said that to try and keep a happy atmosphere in the house? I wouldn't blame her but I'd definitely keep a distance from him
sig4life 18
Yeah, lock the door and keep six Scissors close by. Sorry your now semi related to a dumb ass.
LappDance 16
Six? Hell, why not go for seven?
Soloman212 28
34, how the hell would OP be able to use seven scissors at once? I wish people would stop and think before posting replies.
dont_doubt_me 29
52 - People really SHOULD think before posting replies.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe OP is "Killer Bee" and can use seven scissors at once.
Emelsh16 11
52- Maybe she's the female version of Edward Scissorhands! XD Anyway, learn to recognize a joke.
sig4life 18
Damn auto correct strikes again....