Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the second time. He's really nice, but he's terrible in bed. He busted a nut 3 times before I could orgasm once, and he can't finger to make up for it. His foreplay is trash. I'm starting to lose feelings for him because of the lack of sexual satisfaction. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
SJKatt 15
I've dated so many men who were absolutely offended that I would touch my clit while they were ******* me. Excuse me, sir? You are not touching it, so if I won't, who will? You? We already answered that. Some people don't need clit action. Some people need clit action. Some people could take it or leave it. But if the person who does not have said clit is up in arms about whether or not the clit is in play, there needs to be a lot of conversation. And if it can't arrive at "I'm gonna go ahead and touch my own goddamn body the way I want while we're *******", there is a larger issue here at play than sex. So dump them, because they can't ******* listen.
Plop 17
Why are you dating a 12-years old?
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Comments (4)
SJKatt 15
I've dated so many men who were absolutely offended that I would touch my clit while they were ******* me. Excuse me, sir? You are not touching it, so if I won't, who will? You? We already answered that. Some people don't need clit action. Some people need clit action. Some people could take it or leave it. But if the person who does not have said clit is up in arms about whether or not the clit is in play, there needs to be a lot of conversation. And if it can't arrive at "I'm gonna go ahead and touch my own goddamn body the way I want while we're *******", there is a larger issue here at play than sex. So dump them, because they can't ******* listen.
RichardPencil 32
He's so dumb. It only means his dick is too skinny for you. That is all.
Plop 17
Why are you dating a 12-years old?