Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. He didn't know how to take off my bra and insisted that he'd figure it out on his own. He gave up a couple of seconds later and played video games instead. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
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Top comments
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
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Comments (171)
Wreckless_fml 6
Straight to the business.
gntfmlingnow 12
Only one I solved was by peeling the stickers off and puttin them on in the correct setup
iamaleccarlson 0
Smart fella.. Are you sure he wasn't giving you head
LiveLaughFML 10
awe, your boyfriend has an algorithim for your Rubiks Cube but hasn't made a new algorithim to pleasure you :( lol FYL
urdirtyolduncle 15
Sounds like he would rather do Taylor's expansion than your's, OP.
Yodaevil 4
He's trying to tell you the cube is easier to figure out than getting a woman off!
SpaceDementia_fml 4
I don't understand other guys, like, if my girlfriend wanted to be eaten out, i would gladly do it until she's done, and maybe keep goin, cause i just love doing it ;D
alexchiltonLC 7
The ********, natures rubik's cube
grouperslayer20 0
I no right???? Guys on here are so stupid
jazzy_123 20
I dont understand that. I mean when my bf goes down on me, my gestures and noises i make indicate if im about to ******. Anyway, that sucks. Hopefully next time hebgets it x)
The_Instigator 11
That damned Rubiks Cube, I've still never solved one.
niiick97_fml 3
YouTube, my friend.
EvilPotato 15
2 alas I haven't figured it out either.
The_Instigator 11
10 - Going on youtube is too easy. I don't roll like that.
mgsoloist 14
It's so easy! Once you get the intuitive F2L down you're good from there. And sorry OP, but that's way more important. When I find a new algorithm I can't be distracted :/
LaughinStock 16
I never solved one :( I used just take the little stickers off and move them around.
sticksandshit 0
I once solved one by putting my penis in it.
Enslaved 38
I used to break the cube apart and put it back together like a puzzle.... But it was never the same because it became loose.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Once you figure it out you'll be a legend among men. Forget how to do it, then do it a second time an you will be the new Albert Einstein.
chelseaaababyyy 17
my boyfriends friend could do one in like 10 seconds. he would have someone scramble it for him or have someone bring him a new one and could still do it. it was amazing.
liquidfireKAN 0
I haven't got around to learning F2L yet, still on begginners method, fastest time is 37 seconds :P
redfox1 4
My brothers best time is 1min. and 24 sec.
navyseals7 0
Genius!!! Cubes are awesome :p but that sucks for you OP
ramboman19 8
It sucks for her but doesn't lick! XD
Beeftinkle 13
Or she probably tasted like shit and he had to gtfo before throwing up so he did her a favor
btnhdude 0
He don't do overtime, I see.
That0therguy 4
Sure... Ok no, I didn't understand you.
fthislyfe 22
You can have orgasms anytime! But you can't solve the Rubik's cube easily!
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Maybe not you.
TheEmoSuperman 16
I can solve one in a record of 1min 30 sec and I'm learning how to speed cube. My friend who can speed cube has a record of 37 sec
NomOnShroomz 14
^Cool story bro. Tell it again.
MagicallyFat 12
Your boyfriends either really really smart (I can't think of an algorithm on the top of my head lol and even in that situation) or really dumb
RedPillSucks 33
I'd go for dumb. He can do the algorithm after he gets OP to ******. Had he focused on the one thing he was supposed to be doing, he'd get major props from her and still be able to get his algorithm. Now, he'll probably get dumped and have to deal with the ole one-handed reciprocating algorithm.
saIty 17
When I see a rubik's cube I just paint the sides.
luckylea24 7
Armature :P everyone knows you peel the stickers off....
nonelikeworms 0
was he using this 'algorithm' on you?
cptmorgan6 8
Obviously not...
greatness101 0
Well, she did say she was about to ****** before he stopped.
elisabeth1_fml 0
I know what I'd be doing. Get him right to the point of no return then say sorry just thought of something blah blah you'll have to finish yourself off. Easy
dutchy12 1
Sorry that's too late
ChrisTheCalm 9
I'd rather play with a rubix cube than eat fish anyway. Welcome to the team bro! :D
allinicolesmh 0
Congratulations! Your gay!
CryMoreFMLs 15
Are you allergic to ******?
poopybutt12345 0
So you're gay?
fatraptorjesus13 9
yea because only gay people don't like genitals in their mouth....
T1A2Z3 35
True. Maybe he's asexual
DocBastard 40
Welcome to the team? What team is that, Team Dumbass?
ChrisTheCalm 9
If it was a team called team dumbass, you're family probably started it before anyone else, **** face.
FMLRelapse 4
Your not very calm
dakotasgirl00 2
That's what I was thinking Chris is not so calm. I bet DocBastard will win this argument.
yamatelle 19
OP, Rubik's Cubes are like penises. The more you play with them the harder they get.
imcutefml 0
You ma'am know penises and rubiks cubes
GL1TCH3D 0
That's a horrible comparison...