Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
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Top comments
AGB10 19
That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !
Lennes 12
The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)
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Comments (188)
Ruuku 11
what's a surprise that's going to hurt?......anal try it.
wdthompson1 18
I said you deserved it in a good way because you get to be his teacher and show him how you like it.
rastaams457 6
Educate him
abeg157 14
At least he didn't think it was a tiny penis you had there.
lochiamochia 25
OP, you definitely deserve it if you masked your feelings and allowed him to continue on when it wasn't pleasuring you. If he's willing to go down on you and he seems to also want to do a good job then take the opportunity and teach him. Don't complain about it later on when he's still clueless.
trbuson 11
OP never masked her feelings. Otherwise the FML would have been "Today I faked another ****** just because my boyfriend doesn't know what a ******** is."
love_me_electric 20
Maybe she thought he was teasing her and was going to get to her clit eventually. From the sound of the FML he wasn't down there very long.
Headcrab 29
I was going to comment about a dude having sex but not knowing what the ******** is, but reading the FMLs here I am baffled. They don't teach this in some schools? I had sex ed at the age of 12 (the basic 'where dinkiest come from' stuff. Then again ay age 14 more in deep about sperm and evolution of the embryo and then again at age 17 about cell division etc. However... it is still hard to understand how someone 'old enough' to have sex doesn't know the absolute basics about anatomy.
Sora_McKain 36
"Oh the clit is real, it's the female orgy that's the myth. "
jillyrdxd 7
XD
notalwaysbesta 14
Rough, but hey, at least he's ready to find out :)
gatorgirl2669 6
um.. how old are you guys? see this is why they should make sex ed and anatanomy mandatory in school.... nobody should be asking such questions and live in the united states.. damn shame