Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AGB10 19
That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !
Lennes 12
The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
sematariux 7
Ask him to read the instructions before he plays the game.. No just kidding, OP this is the perfect time to teach him where everything is and how you like it, mold him into your ideal sex toy.. Believe me, us men enjoy it :)
Zebediabolical 45
*some men
simoncat 11
That's what you get for dating 11 year old boys.
octinate 17
Seems like y'all too young to be doing things like that
Goblin182 27
Did everyone else miss the part where he expected her to get off immediately? 1. Where did he get that expectation 2. That would take all the fun out of it.
kayteakay 26
It can be frustrating but hopefully you took the time to teach him how to ring the doorbell. You'll be happier for it in the long run.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
keep licking around & scream YOU FOUND OUT
JessBassett 24
Well at least you have the chance to teach him! Be happy he's willing to do such things for you, some guys aren't so willing!
mattrd_fml 31
LOL fyl AND fhl
ElricMustang 23
Instead of telling us, why not teach him? It's not the end of the world because he doesn't know what it is.
Thors_Hammer9999 17
might want to teach about the G-spot while ur at it