Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
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Top comments
AGB10 19
That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !
Lennes 12
The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)
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Comments (188)
qwertyu_ioplk 9
wow..how old is he?
WICKEDxANGEL 13
how old is he?...
reymon8823 24
Lmmfao ummm its the pea looking thing its what you should have said
mete_orito 34
Just tell him where it is. He'll learn. Enjoy!
lbrown66 12
I believe it's an old, old wooden ship
DotDootyDot 17
I didn't know Ron Burgundy liked to read FML.
amypr 20
I don't know what about this says "FYL." You have a boyfriend who very much wants to please you and is comfortable asking how! :)
sonnyrosa 32
In high school, we were taught the old "abstinence only" version of sexual education. Our school can't have been the only one. So, maybe this guy genuinely doesn't know the wonders that clitoral stimulation can bring to a woman. He's asking what he was doing wrong, which means he cares enough to find out. So teach him where your sweet spots are, there are lots of videos and pictures on the internet to help you both have the most amazing sex ever. You're lucky your guy cares enough to ask. Good luck!!
MrBoredomioo 18
I was taught in 6th grade, and it wasn't "abstinence only" teaching.
rfid_fml 13
As I read this, the first thing that pops up in my head? The South Park movie. "Find the ********"
Livingstone187 2
that's what you get for dating a twelve year old
kitkatmiaow 21
Least he gave it a go!!! ;-)