Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I gave my virgin boyfriend his first ever blowjob. I was expecting we’d move on to full sex straight away, but he was weird about it. I asked what was wrong, and he was confused why men are obsessed with blowjobs, because the one I just gave wasn’t that good. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AGB10 19
That's the perfect time to teach him. He seems sweet enough to care !
Lennes 12
The female body is a flipping mystery to men. However, I've found that a solid diagram works wonders for those willing to learn. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
trbuson 11
At least he didn't think it was an old piece of chewing gum under the sofa.
love_rose18 9
Well somebody should have payed attention in biology.
chasing_silence 10
you know he's to young when he doesn't know that..
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Seems to me he's too young to be doing anything sexual if he can't identify certain body parts.
MuppetMerkin 10
You would be surprised how many adult men (and even a few women) don't know their way around down there. Here's a lesson for the uninformed: The external genitalia is called the vulva. it consists of the ********, labia majora, and labia minora. The ****** is the tube the penis goes in during sex and babies come out during labor.
love_me_electric 20
Thank you! Bugs me when people use ****** and vulva interchangeably. No woman should ever try to shave her ******.
elizacandle 29
give the guy a break and show em, at least he's trying to please you. educate and communicate!
thegreatkus 7
What, are you 12?!? How could you possibly be old enough to understand sexual pleasure yet not even know what a clit is..
TimDottillis 5
You need to educate the dude.
PieknyCzlowiek 7
Educate him! :-) He obviously wants to know!
DorklyComicFan 8
You two shouldn't be having sex yet. Wait until you're married.
dangousity 21
Yea that totally makes any sense
trbuson 11
You shouldn't be posting yet. Wait till you're not shoving your beliefs down throats.